22-Nov-2022 (Tue) Wherein it's our birthday

Happy 37th birthday to DNA Lounge! The club opened on November 22, 1985.

We got an early birthday present: on Sunday morning, someone broke into the club and stole a whole entire ATM. They were interrupted by the arrival of our janitorial staff, but in the meantime they managed to fairly quickly trash the floor, angle-grinder away some bolts, and load it out.

As far as we can tell, they picked the lock on the door (maybe with a pick-gun or bump-key), since the door and lock were undamaged, but the cylinder was turning freely. Which is frustrating, because that's hard to defend against by just bolting some more steel plate to the door.

However, lest you get the wrong idea, this guy was no Moriarty. We've got lots of video of his face, and can clearly hear him talking on the phone to his getaway driver, Kayla, who was waiting out front in a black Mercedes. If you recognize this guy, both we and SFPD (case 220800244) would sure like to know:

Adding insult to injury, that particular ATM had been broken (and empty) for about a month. We only just got it repaired like three days before.

They also tried to break in to the scooter shop across the street, before paying us a visit.

Maybe now is a good time to remind you that we have a Patreon and a one-time donation page?

Also, today is the anniversary of the Max Headroom Broadcast Signal Intrusion Event, so here's wishing a happy Max Headroom Day to all who celebrate.

13 Responses:

  1. Line Noise says:

    Happy Max Headroom Day to you all.

  2. Matt says:

    Happy birthday! Bad news re: ATM theft.

    I have Abloy on my shop and Medeco at home.

    If you had a common Schlage, Kwikset, etc. lock either of the above would be a massive upgrade to pick resistance. You'd be the hardest lock to pick on your block.

  3. derpatron9000 says:

    That's quite the birthday cock punch, and not in a good way.

  4. Arthur F Hampton Jr says:

    Please oh please, when you replace your ATM, make certain that it gets Bolted to the Floor. Or at least put a do-it-yourself LoJack (tm) inside the Safe. If your ATM must be an attractive nuisance, at least make it bait that YOU can track.

    • jwz says:

      It was bolted to the floor. Thus the angle grinder and the damage to the floor itself.

      • dzm says:

        For once Apple's AirTag StalkerWare seems well suited to a task. Or maybe Tile's prior art. But either way - they seem actually useful for this in a vindictive "at least we know where your strip-shop is located" kind of way.

      • Grey Hodge says:

        Jesus. This guy wanted THAT explicit ATM. A few years ago at a local strip club guys broke through the glass doors, put a chain around the ATM, pulled it out with a truck. It destroyed the wall the ATM was against, the doorway as the ATM flew out rolling, the ATM itself was mangled but whole, and then wound up rolling down into the culvert buried in mud. The thieves drove off without the ATM.

  5. Rich says:

    Been maybe 15 years since I emailed jwz.. reminiscing.. and here I never realized DNA opened the day before my 15th birthday.

  6. CSL3 says:

    "Hey, Kayla? This camera-lookin' thing on the wall? That's not somethin' I should worry about, is it?"

  7. Dave says:

    I wondered what Rick Moranis had been up to.

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