18-Mar-2021 (Thu) Wherein we need you to floor it.

Yesterday the Mayor's Office announced that the Entertainment Relief Fund will be getting a $3M endowment, which sounds great until you do the math. If they were to divide that among all of SF's nightclubs, I think that would keep all of us alive for like, 3 or 4 weeks.

Their plan of record for getting money into this fund is still "maybe a friendly billionaire will step up", so don't hold your breath on that. And the Federal "Save Our Stages" fund has still distributed $0.

So with no money to speak of, and still no plan for distributing it, San Francisco's financial support for nightlife is still very much in the "thoughts and prayers" category.

However! Vaccines have actually been happening!

That's exciting.

Last week we had a meeting talking through some re-opening scenarios. Like, once we get word from the Government that we're allowed to re-open, how much notice do we think they'll give us? Based on past experience, we're guessing six days. So what's our plan on re-staffing on such short notice? And what if they tell us we can only run at 10% capacity or something? Do we just ignore that and stay closed? Or try to do... something... that won't pay the bills but might be juuuust slightly better than being dark?

Anyway, it's all pretty bleak, but at the same time kind of exciting to be acknowledging the idea that this might actually be over some day, and we might actually have a business again, even if we have no real guess as to when that might be.

Since it's possible that we might be open again in... let's say, months rather than years? Let me just throw this long-shot idea out there one last time...

How would you like to buy us a new dance floor?

Tearing up and replacing the dance floor is a multi-week process. In the Before Times there never would have been a time when it would have been practical for us to be closed for that long. That means that there is literally no better time to do it than right now, except for the fact that we don't have any money. It would be a shame to let this downtime go to waste, but that's what we're gonna do, unless a noble benefactor appears.

When we installed this floor over 20 years ago, it was a festive pancake of neoprene and plywood over a concrete base, but all that dancin' in the intervening decades has left it no longer springy, not to mention the hundreds of layers of paint atop the now-splintering and divotted plywood... And the need for re-painting only becomes more frequent as the plywood further frays. Really, it's time.

So, wanna buy us a dance floor? It'll probably only cost fifteen or twenty grand. Think of the bragging rights! The nobility of being the one who saved the orphanage. Hell, we'll give you a plaque if you want.

Who's in?

13 Responses:

  1. Erin M. says:

    Maybe a gofundme or something where we can contribute?

  2. Josh Bales says:

    I’m in. What fundraising platform are you thinking of using?

    • jwz says:

      I was hoping to use the platform called, "Sure, I'll write you a five digit check."

      I feel like if I try to drum up thousands of $10 and $20 donations for this, all I will do is cannibalize our monthly Patreon subscriptions.

      I mean, until it sounds likely that the funding will materialize, it's not even worth us putting in the hours to hire a contractor and get an accurate construction quote.

      • margaret says:

        maybe sell the floor by the pixel, er, square inch. implementation is an exercise for the reader.

  3. Elusis says:

    I'm sorry SF is sucking so badly. I certainly can't imagine having to make the decisions you venue owners are facing - I sort of worried it would be like this last year when there was chatter about "oh did you read 'The Hammer and the Dance,' we'll just have places close briefly and the re-open when we flatten the curve, and if it trends back up we'll close again" and I was like "um do you have any idea what kind of investment in staff and perishables is involved in getting a bar ready for opening, never mind a restaurant, are you crazy you can't run these things like a giant society-wide pop-up plus temp agency???"

    This is happening in Seattle tonight.

  4. Matt Flynn says:

    Please don't give up on this dance floor idea. I'm willing to contribute to this. I cannot write the big check you want. I think a go fund me is a good idea. People can separate the difference between a one time need and monthly Patreon contributions. I am sure many folks who dance at the DNA would be willing to help get a new dance floor. I was thinking a new floor was needed before the pandemic, so I'm excited about it possibly being rebuilt. Also, I noticed the Chapel and Great American are doing socially distanced shows. Maybe this could be done at the DNA? The ticket prices were steep for these show (and they were acts I did not want to see), but at this point I'd gladly pay $200.00 to be able to have a night out with some Gothic/Industrial acts.

  5. Mac says:

    Would there be some kind of perk for buying the dance floor? Maybe a small plaque or lifetime tables?

  6. drew says:

    Is there some way to get underwriting to either save some other historically important SF dance floor and put it on top of new DNA underlayment

    or lean into the marketing and do a TwiT bricks style fundraiser where people can radically overpay to personalize a nucleotide graphic that becomes part of a helix meandering across the parquet.

    This might be hard to do quickly, but My very ignorant phone calc app math says you only have to sell 2,000 base pairs at $150 each to pay for the floor and some of the artistic logistics.

    • Danielle Sukonick says:

      I love this basepair joke 😂. I’ll take an an adenosine and a tyrosine on the new dance floor for $100 or even $200 a pop. Where can I donate? 🧬 💕

  7. Todd says:

    Regarding the dance floor, I'll write you a check for $10k if you can find the rest. Or we can discuss the full amount in person. Assuming you even have the time for the install as this point..