16-Jul-2020 (Thu)
Wherein we're a part of the Illuminati Biden Agenda, I guess?

The Russian troll farms have weaponized unmedicated schizophrenia in their attempt to... what? Destroy the entire concept of truth or consensus reality? I'm not even sure any more. Anyway, when you turn the crank on that chaos machine, this is the sausage that comes out:

In summary, buy our pizza. It's really good pizza! And by pizza, I mean pizza.

Also, wear a mask, take your meds, delete your Facebook.

Those are my top four recommendations.


18 Responses:

  1. Dude says:

    Clearly, one should also buy DNA-brand liquor... 'cause I am waaaaaa too sober to figure out why this RWNJ randomly circled things like a kindergartener playing with magic markers?

    • Gabriel says:

      Pizzagate conspiracy theorists think cheese pizza is code for child sex trafficking, so the circles are the "connection" between the pizza and teens/children.

      The original "evidence" for the cheese/pizza thing is entirely just someone drawing random highlights/circles on screenshots of emails, so I think they're just continuing that uh... trend.

      • Dude says:

        Oh, Jesus... they're still on that Pizzagate shit?

        Yeah, I'm definitely gonna need the liquor.

      • Louis says:

        They think children are being covertly advertised through coded messages on innocent websites. Which is so fucking retarded, the real trafficking network (sadly it surely exists) is not going to use coded terms, it's going to have actual pictures and terms, and it would be so hidden, no random Joe Dumbass is going to stumble on it when looking for pizza or a sofa (look up "Wayfair conspiracy"...).

  2. angled says:

    Oh man, just wait until they find out that you wrote software that did stuff with (((parentheses))).

    • tfb says:

      If we lived in a slightly different world I would be very tempted to bait some troll into believing that Lisp was in fact some kind of liberal conspiracy language, and in fact that many languages are such and should be banned. Indeed certain constructs in programming languages are inherently liberal and must not be allowed. It is slightly unclear what these constructs are: GO TO, is a suitably conservative christian construct of course, but full continuations are definitely the work of the antifa fake news liberal elitists.

      But in that other world everyone (except possibly the troll) would understand that this was a joke, and such jokes would be harmless. I'm now not sure they ever were harmless and they certainly would not be now: I'm pretty sure that some of my attempts to cause trolls to go away by baiting them ruthlessly in the later days of comp.lang.lisp (well, perhaps it still exists) were things I would not now do.

      Except, well, could we persuade people to ban C++ (isn't the 'C' for 'China'? doesn't 'C++' mean 'China doubleplus'? Isn't it all a conspiracy?)?

  3. PabloHoney says:

    Hail Satan, Eat Babies. Xtian Zombie Vampires.

  4. Line Noise says:

    "JonBenet" . . . "Joe Biden" . . . I mean. it's practically the same person!

  5. Marcos Dione says:

    > delete your Facebook.

    Given this is spread over another SN/SM/whatever thing, why not 'delete your Twitter' too?

  6. robert_ says:

    I notice you haven't actually denied being part of the Illuminati agenda...

  7. dcapacitor says:

    The Russian troll farms have weaponized unmedicated schizophrenia in their attempt to... what? Destroy the entire concept of truth or consensus reality?

    That's a bingo!

    No, seriously, that's how their contemporary propaganda works.

  8. Don't know why they are picking on you when there's a whole mini-chain called Pyramid Pizza. Not to mention Third Eye Pies in PA.

    Ooo now I want an Eye of Providence pizza.

  9. thielges says:

    This is just the result of lazy conspiracy theory “research”. In other words, don’t seek the truth but seek random connections that bolster your theory.

    Internet search engines are enablers for this type of lazy false research. Figure out a pool of keywords related to your favorite tin foil hat menace and start searching for those juicy connections. Be the first to uncover new “evidence” to impress your peers.

    Type in “jonbenet pizza Bootie” into a search engine and a dnalounge.com link shows up on the first page.

  10. Doctor Memory says:

    All fun and games until one of these morons shows up on your doorstep with an AR-15 trying to "liberate" the enslaved children.

    (Of course I guess the joke's still on them since everything's still closed.)

  11. andrew says:

    Fuck with them further. Put a ping pong table out front during evening cocktails-to-go service.

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