16-Oct-2017 (Mon)
Wherein it's the Incident Report of the Week!

Ok, this is not actually a weekly feature. Thankfully. But this one is a good one. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, our customers:

At 9:30 on Friday night, a customer by the name of Joshua H_____ decided that during changeover he would pour a drink from a bottle of Jameson on the centermost front VIP table.

After seeing him do this, drink it, spill it, and mess up the table, we escorted him outside. I told him we escorted him out because he stole booze from a table, those bottles cost $350 and now we can't sell it. I gave him the option of paying up, or calling the police. He opted for us to call the police.

I called the police at 9:39. They said it would be a few minutes. He then decided to pay the money and went to the ATM. He pulled out $40 but left his card and money in the ATM. And he didn't notice.

At that point, after arguing drunkenly with us for 10 minutes, his buddies told him to just run. Which they did. He ran two blocks up Eleventh Street. We watched him run into traffic and almost die. About 5 minutes later, he came stumbling back down Eleventh. The police had shown up and were about to leave when I led them to the guy. They convinced him to pay us instead of going to jail. We gave him his forgotten ATM card and $40. He pulled out the remaining money and the cops left after watching him stumble down to Harrison.

Badge Numbers ___, ____; Car ___.

The video webcast is still down, as there has been no progress on the latest Youtube fuckery, nor have they responded in any way to my question about what the hell they think the problem is.

But, here are some recent photos.

Hubba Hubba: Murder Mansion
Hotline
Control: Netsky
Control: Gentlemens Club

13 Responses:

  1. Yuma Tripp says:

    I really should write a book.

  2. KC Crowell says:

    Oh shit! I was the one who found his card and cash in the ATM. If I had known it belonged to this douchebag I would have kept the money.

  3. Line Noise says:

    Did he at least get to take the remainder of the bottle with him?

  4. Dave B. says:

    Several people who read this will know who I am, but for those who don't, I'm the former security chief for DNA (miss many of you). There are many times I thought about writing a book of just incident reports, names redacted of course, but I wonder if anyone would actually believe many of them.

    • Chad D Altenburg says:

      Well, a long time ago some gal wrote about stuff that happened at the EndUP in San Francisco. And the book sold pretty well.

  5. Carlos says:

    You definitely should publish a book of incident reports - "Douchebags at the DNA Club". I'd pay $10 for an e-book.

    C.

  6. Jim Sweeney says:

    We saw this guy and a friend during changeover... they basically charged the stage the second our Gogos came out, and were leaning in on the stage trying to get the Gogos to come over and talk to them (apparently they thought our dancers were some kind of free buffet... ) 2 seconds after this started, one of our Gogos said to me, "These guys are gonna be a problem... "

    Yep.

  7. o.o says:

    Did he pay for the drink, or the whole bottle?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. But if you provide a fake email address, I will likely assume that you are a troll, and not publish your comment.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <s> <strike> <strong> <img src="" width="" height="" style=""> <iframe src="" class=""> <div class=""> <blink> <tt> <u>, or *italics*.