26-Apr-2017 (Wed)
Wherein you really can't guess the code.

We did a little photo shoot a few weeks back, and now we have some actual photos of our merch on humans, instead of just graphical schematics. Maybe we will sell more t-shirts if those t-shirts are modelled by pretty people. You want to buy a t-shirt now, right? I think that's how commerce works, right?

Thanks very much to Maggie Motorboat, Moose Knuckle, Frankie Fictitious and Sweet Belize for modelling, and Audrey Penven for shooting!

Speaking of commerce...

Our online store supports discount codes. We don't use them all the time, but sometimes promoters or bands want to give cheaper admission to their pals. But since there's that shiny, candy-like text field on the checkout page that says "Discount", you know what that means, right? Yup, people just try to guess them, all the time. It's a treasure hunt! One you cannot win.

Some of them read like those lists of the world's worst passwords:

A
AAA
GOD
12345
1337
31337
3L33T
420
2017
=-)

Remember, if ever have children, the name of their first pet should contain at least eight characters, a capital letter, and a digit. You should also change the pet's name frequently.

Some of them are clearly based on rumor, or are from other sites' past discounts:

ACID
ANDDSENTME
ANGELS
ANGST1
BATES
BATESFRIEND
BAWDY
BELIEBER
BONITO GENERATION
EPIC
FREAK
FUNCHEAP
FUNCHEAPSF
HAPPYNEWYEARS
IGIVEGOODANGST
KISSMEIMIRISH
LEPRECHAUNS
LIVE105
MICHELLE
NOMIRROR
ORANGES
SFSTATION
SHOPCONCERTS
SHOPDISCOUNTS

Would we be this obvious? Really?

FREE
SAVE
SAVE10
DNA LOUNGE
DNA LOUNGE!
DNA
DNA10
DNA2017
2017

Really?

CODE
COMP
BOOTIE
BOOTIETIME
DNABOOTIE
BURLESQUE
CODEWORD
DEATHGUILD
DISCOUNT
GDC
GDC2017
GUEST
HUBBA
HUBBAHUBBA
HUBBA HUBBA REVUE
MORTIFIED
MORTIFIEDSF
MORTIFYME
PLUR
PLURANGELS
SOSTOKED
STOKED
THEFREEZE
VALENTINE

Would we mis-spell the name of our own club? Really?

BOOTY
CODEWORLD
DNALOUNGUE
MORTIFY

If you say so, I guess I'll take your word for it:

CHEAP
IMALOSER101
SLUT

Nice try, but still no:

JWZ
EMPLOYEE
DANCE
CORP
CREW
DEAL
DEEL
DNAPLUR
DUBSTEP
EDMRAVES
FRIEND
FRIENDS
FRIENDS&FAMILY
FRIENDS17
FRIENDSANDFAM
FRIENDSANDFAMILY
GIRLS
HUBBAFAM
KINGFISH
MONKEY5
PERFORMING LIVE
PLEASE
PLEASE?
RAVE
RAVE5
RAVE10
SAN FRANCISCO
STUDENT
WELCOME
WHEREIN

Um...

DNAVD

Aw, thank you! But still no:

DONATED
DONATION
JWZFAN
SAVEDNA
HACKTHEPLANET
NOT MY PRESIDENT

18 Responses:

  1. Alexa VK says:

    So cute!! I love it 😍

  2. Jeff Warnica says:

    HCF?

  3. Jim Sweeney says:

    I am literally laugh-crying at some of those attempted discount codes!!

  4. Jim Sweeney says:

    Also: nice going letting everyone know about Hubba's ongoing discount code, BELIEBER

  5. John Adams says:

    Looks good. Makes me wonder what happened to all of the merch photos we did years ago that never made it online.

  6. No "FORCECHOKE?"

  7. Amy says:

    I'm surprised that OBEY isn't in the list of codes attempted.

  8. andrew says:

    You should try raising the price by $1 if people enter a wrong discount code. Just as a test. I bet some people pay it.

  9. Doctor Memory says:

    TIL that Jamie reads the logs of unsuccessful discount code application attempts.

    I'm sure this information can be put to (further) hilarious use down the road...

  10. kwk says:

    GOD SEX LOVE SECRET

  11. I count six codes on there that I’ve been given for other shops, and one that was the default example for a shopping cart system I set up once.

  12. Carlos says:

    Dick move, but I like dick moves sometimes: change the store so entering an invalid coupon/discount code does not give an error message (if it does) but simply increases the price by 10%.

    C.

  13. o.o says:

    SEATEC ASTRONOMY

  14. Ronald Pottol says:

    Jamie, some of us know you are not an idiot. But some people are idiots. For example, once upon a time I worked for a company that supported a bunch of ecommerce sites, and one of them was Borders. One of our crack DBAs (not kidding, she was the best, or damn near of the bunch we had) was surfing deal sites, and found a Borders discount code. 75% off with no restrictions (night not have been reusable by a given user, but that was it), and you could just change the % to 70 or what ever (I don't recall what the limits were, but there were not many). That explained the load she was seeing on their DB. Call them up, ask if they want to disable it (it's after hours), and they need to think on it for a few hours.

    So, totally worth trying, you might get lucky. One of several examples of just how bad they were.