Yesterday at the AIDS Emergency Fund Benefit I learned about a fetish with which I was previously unfamiliar: "piss puppy". This is where a guy in a piss-stained jock strap pretends to be a non-housebroken puppy and pees everywhere, and his partner hits him with a rolled up newspaper and yells "No!"
I learned about this because the guy tried to pee off the balcony and onto the people below.
Later that night, at Bootie, Arlo told me: "Someone re-inflated the pirate. They picked up a flat pirate off of a nightclub floor and put their mouth on it." I said, "Well it is Folsom Street Fair. It might not be the dirtiest thing they've blown this weekend." *
(Those pirates never last the night, by the way. They buy them from China in lots of a thousand.)
And shortly thereafter, as pictured, all of our toilets exploded. It was backing up everywhere, the floor was a lake, oh the humanity. I was having PTSD flashbacks to Chocolate Syrup Wrestling.
And that was only yesterday. Once more unto the breach...
Even I had never heard of the “piss puppy” fetish. Which is saying something.
Humans are horrible. My real dog knows better.
These stories are all scary!
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls5ytbed2i1qapus6o1_500.jpg
http://happyurinal.tumblr.com/post/11493020151/puppet-urinal-by-luckysob
http://media.veryfunnypics.eu/2012/08/funny-picture-i-said-i-love-poo-she-thought-i-said-i-love-you-husky-555×575.jpg
Relax.