Everybody loved the lasers, which I think the band brought with them. They did look fantastic, but I'm always highly conflicted about lasers. On the one hand -- lasers! But on the other hand, if you're shining a laser into someone's eye, you're a dick. Even if they're low-powered, I'm still paranoid about them, and because of our balcony, there's not really anywhere to aim lasers that isn't gonna be hitting somebody, which is a drag. So usually we avoid them. They sure are pretty, though.
A bit more progress has been made on the new bathrooms (some more framing and electrical), but nothing that visually different yet.
I still have no idea whether our permits are in progress at Building yet, or are still rotting at Planning. Nobody can tell us. Nobody returns our calls.
We're still looking for a general manager for the pizza place, preferably with experience managing coffee shops or morning-oriented restaurants. Please send us any leads you can think of, because Craigslist is pretty much a horror show in all things. In my experience, the best way to find someone who's good at their job is through a friend-of-a-friend recommendation. I can't remember the last time a resumé-hire actually worked out.
Photos of the penultimate Blow Up are up now. The final Blow Up is this Friday, so that'll be your last chance! Immediately prior to Blow Up on that same day is Mortified, which I cannot recommend highly enough.
We also had a big metal show last week, but nobody ever sends me photos of those. Every now and then I come across a Youtube clip that sounds like a cell phone in a clothes dryer, but that's about it. We've got three other metal shows coming up this week and next, but I wouldn't be holding my breath for photos of those either.
We also had a (rare) hiphop show last week. Remember a while back when I pointed out how weird metal fans are about over-blogging tour dates? Well I had forgotten and have been reminded that hiphop fans are just as weird, but with Twitter instead of blogs. Every day, that show was re-twitted by like 5× as many people who came to the show. (Pro tip: retwit counts count for nothing.)
The plumbers have been at work upstairs this week, but there's not a lot to see. Fun fact, though: it turns out that the crawlspace between the first and second floor of the pizza place is actually large enough to fit an entire plumber into it. I think we should rent it out as an apartment. For the small.
Bureaucratic runarounds continue apace from the Building department, the ABC, and the folks in charge of parklets. No surprises there. Or progress. Possibly the opposite of progress. It's hard to even tell.
Oh, did you see our fan? We have some leftover parts from the DNA Pizza sign, and one of them fits perfectly around our kitchen exhaust:
If someone tells you that they are DNA Pizza's number one fan, it's not true. That's our number one fan right there.
Meanwhile, from the "Where's my bailout?" file:
Clubbed to death: Berlin steps in to save nightlife from gentrification
Politicians in Berlin have launched a campaign to rescue the city's legendary nightclub scene from the spectre of property investors in the hope of salvaging the capital's reputation as one of Europe's party hotspots.
A 'Music Board' fund of around €1m ($1.3m) has been set up to help protect the city's shrinking club scene, which has been a mainstay of the economy since the fall of the Berlin Wall but has found itself increasingly squeezed out by real estate investors.
Around 15 clubs are currently under threat of closure according to Spiegel, while three prominent clubs have closed within the last few months. The nightspots, which are often housed in grungy urban buildings, breweries, or former factories situated on prime land, are increasingly being converted into apartment blocks and loft homes.
In addition to conversion projects, clubs often inspire the wrath of 'nimby' residents who lodge complaints about the noise, leading to authorities closing them down.
City politicians have been forced to address the issue having recognised the economic consequences of a fall in the number of young Europeans who fly to Berlin ~ sometimes for a single night ~ to enjoy clubbing in cheap, quirky venues.
Relatedly, here's a photo gallery of German clubs with all the lights on.
When's the upstairs opening?"
Oh Yelp, why can't we quit you.
Every now and then someone will post a Yelp review related to one of our various parties or businesses and we would like to publicly respond to it. Yelp has decided that they won't let you do that unless your business account has a human face as its avatar: no logos allowed. And they apparently employ an army of underpaid outsourced schmucks to enforce this by actually looking at and flagging every uploaded photo.
Of course they don't enforce this on all accounts, oh no. There's a logo instead of a face for Starbuck's, Best Buy, the ballpark... But when we have our staff meeting and six of us sit around and collectively formulate our official response, they insist that our company have the wrong face attached before we can publish it.
After weeks of trying, Barry finally managed to get a Yelp ad rep on the phone to complain about this -- basically saying, "I'm going to buy ads with you as soon as you fix this" -- and her response was to rant at length about how much it sucks to work at Yelp now, and how she can't get anything done.
- "So, I want to give you money if you fix this, and you're saying you can't?"
"That's right. I can't fix it. You're not the only person who wants this, and your not the only person whose business I've lost over it. My employer is making it impossible for me to do my job."
Well played, Yelp! Well played.
Honestly, I wish there was a way for us to just opt out of Yelp entirely. It is far more of a pain in the ass than a benefit, in every way. I would even pay them to ensure that when you search for my businesses' names, you got a 404.
Sadly they do not offer that service, either.
You may have noticed that we're closed this Friday. I can't remember the last time that happened. It's been years.
We had an event booked, until extremely recently. About two months ago, these guys Martin and David, who were, like, part of the C-list of Blow Up's promotional helpers, booked the date for a party with Drop the Lime, who played at Blow Up back in February. And then, eight days before the event, Martin calls us and says, "Hey, David is afraid we won't make any money on this show, so he's not going to pay up, so is it cool if we cancel?" In case you were wondering if that's cool, no, that's super-duper not cool. This was after they had already paid us a deposit. Obviously we won't ever trust them to book anything here, but what they may not realize is that by fucking over the artist like this, The Windish Agency also won't be returning their calls. That's a somewhat larger bridge to have burned.
Look, our new bathrooms have walls, mostly:
First you put up the aluminum studs. Then the plumbers put the pipes inside the space where the walls will go. Then the electricians come through and put in the conduit. Then you schedule a plumbing inspector. Then you schedule an electrical inspector. Then you schedule a framing inspector. Then you can close up the walls. Then you can install the fixtures. Then you schedule a plumbing inspector again. Then you schedule an electrical inspector again. Then you schedule a health inspector. Then you wonder how anything ever gets done at all.
There has been some minor perceptible progress in our permit review. It has made it to eyeballs at both the Building and Fire department, which is... good? But this has resulted in the fun situation of having people from one department interpret the code one way and people from another department interpret the same code in a completely different way. Negotiations are, as they say, ongoing.
In the event that we someday have custom-printed pizza boxes -- and I'm not foolish enough to predict that this will ever actually happen -- they might end up looking something like this prototype:
It's that time again -- please vote for DNA Lounge, DNA Pizza and our various alumni in this year's SF Weekly Best of San Francisco poll.
Relevant categories include:
8. Best DJ
16. Best Bartender
19. Best Gay friendly Bar/Club
22. Best Live Music Venue
48. Best Late Night Dining
52. Best Pizza
62. Best Drag Queen
63. Best Event Producers
Be careful as you click through to vote, because they sneakily try to sign you up for mailing lists every two or three pages.
You may notice that this year they have eliminated the categories of "Best Dance Club" and "Best Club Night". Why? Who the fuck knows why. Do they think San Francisco doesn't have those any more? This is particularly irritating since DNA Lounge and/or Bootie have won those categories every year since 2009! Should we take it personally?
Anyway, please vote for us in the remaining categories! Thanks!