We had an Entertainment Commission hearing yesterday, and it couldn't have gone better! One of the many steps on the road to cutting a door in the wall is getting our entertainment permits adjusted to cover the new, larger rectangle encompassing both DNA Lounge and DNA Pizza. So, pretty much any time you make any change to any permit, the city will take that opportunity to slap a bunch of new conditions on the permit. But... not this time! In fact, apparently what happened was that SFPD gave the Entertainment Commission a last-minute list of new recommended conditions to saddle us with that they pulled out of their ass. We haven't even seen them, but apparently they included things like how many drinks we are allowed to sell to each person!
Well, the commissioners looked at that list, laughed at it, and approved our permit with no additional conditions over what we have now! I believe "Epic Win" might be the appropriate exclamation here. You can watch our entire hearing in the video (or WMV download) starting at around 2:00:06:
Audrey Joseph: Officer Chan from Southern Station has submitted a bunch of these recommendation sheets... and they're all exactly the same. And it seems like... it's... a little odd.
Jocelyn Kane: I'm not going to speak in defense of Southern Station, but these came in late today, and I got them. And that's all I can say. [Laughs] You can abide by them or not, that is your prerogative.
Audrey Joseph: It is not within our purview to talk about stacking drinks or how many drinks should be sold per person, so I think those should be eliminated.
Jocelyn Kane: And I don't believe the applicant has even seen these, again, since I hammered them out of Southern Station before this meeting. [Laughs]
Jocelyn Kane: Hi, Barry!
John Newlin: Any other commissioner questions? Members of the public? Nobody from the public? OK.
Audrey Joseph: I move to approve this permit, with our standard Good Neighbor policies, and not Southern Station's conditions. That is my motion.
John Newlin: Ok. You good with that?
Barry Synoground: Thanks for having me. And um... Sounds great!
John Newlin: Thank you. Do we have a second? Seconded. Same. Any objections? Ok, you're good to go. Good luck.
That's probably the shortest hearing that has ever happened in the history of ever.
It's kind of amazing and awesome to see the EC smack down the SFPD like that. And in fact, it happened three more times during the meeting, with other applicants! You can see Commissioner Joseph getting pissed off at these SFPD antics at around 2:51:00 in the video:
Audrey Joseph: Vaj, you go to these meetings with the permit officers... Don't you talk to them about our conditions? We get all of these really silly conditions that have to do with things we have no jurisdiction over, and all this other... stuff?
Vajra Granelli: Commissioner Joseph, I think you have to remember that often the conditions that are handed in by permit officers do not come from the permit officers but come from their Captains and Lieutenants and sometimes from 850 itself. They are quite often the messenger, not the creator.
Audrey Joseph: Ok. Good point. [Sighs.] I give in.
So, now we're done with Planning and Entertainment, which leaves Building and ABC still to do. Our paperwork is sitting in someone's inbox at Building (and I strongly suspect that it's actual paper, in an actual box with "In" written on the side) and ABC won't do anything until that's done.
Meanwhile, if you want to watch how things can go badly for you in these hearings, check out the hearing for Rock It Room, starting at around 0:39:10. I don't know anything about this venue, but among the litany of complaints brought against them is the amazing story told at around 0:45:00, where a cop says that he saw their visibly intoxicated security staff doing shots while on duty, and when the cop talked to them about it, the club's head of security tried to take a swing at the cop! The other staff held him back, and he's apparently still the head of security.
So... That didn't go well. At one point, one of the commissioners said to the owners, "This is not 'Let's make a deal', this is, 'How are you gonna save your license?'" Oh, snap.
Usually these hearings are not very exciting, but sometimes...
Anyhow, we have some new photo galleries since last time:
I would also like to mention that there is entirely too much urine in my nightclub in places where urine ought not go, and I wish you savages would knock that the fuck off.