You know that DNA Pizza is also a 24 hour cafe, right?

And that we're here for you before work, serving delicious coffee and pastries, right?

Maybe you don't, so to spread the word, we're giving away FREE COFFEE every morning, all month! 6am to 10am, every day in February, one per customer.

Please come check it out, and tell your friends!

Our Free Coffee February campain has been going... not so great. Business is up a bit, but still not enough to put us in the black during morning hours even if we weren't giving away the product for free. Most of our new customers are the local homeless, and a big portion of the rest seem to be Groupon-trained bargain-hunters who are unlikely to convert to paying customers once it's no longer free.

So that's frustrating.

Construction has actually begun -- slowly and tentatively -- on the second floor of the pizza place. So far that has just been the installation of sprinklers and the re-locating of some ventilation ducting, but hopefully real construction, meaning the new bathrooms, will begin by the first week of January, uh, this week, uh, maybe next week.

There has been no recent progress on getting the permit that will allow us to open up a door in the wall. We won our hearing with the Planning Department last month, and today was the day that the "appeal period" expired, so presumably that stack of paper will now slowly and laboriously wend its way from a desk at Planning to a desk at Building Inspection, where it will sit in various piles on a series of desks for several months until it is properly seasoned with dust and shame. Only then -- which will probably be late May -- will it have the series of rubber stamp marks on it that will allow us to get a construction permit for the doors and various related things.

We started this process in February 2011, you will recall. It is now February 2012, and we have only just been allowed to swing our first hammer.

So that's frustrating.

Here's an article about SFPD and the Entertainment Commission talking (vaguely and very passive-voice) about possibly some day more heavily regulating party busses.

"If they regulate, there's going to be a loss of revenue in San Francisco because people will start going to San Jose and other areas like that," Bhullar said. "They have to find the buses that are illegally operating. I think you will get 30 to 40 percent less party buses if they check whether they have proper licenses to operate."

Good riddance? This wouldn't make any difference to us, because we don't ever allow them to stop at DNA in the first place. Party busses are a blight. Their passengers are always complete amateurs who arrive not only drunk, but drunk beyond their abily to handle it; they don't know how to behave in public, since they do not go to clubs regularly, meaning they will irritate and alienate all of your regulars; and they expect to get in free. So, they make a mess and you don't make any money on them. Any venue that allows a party bus in is crazy.

Recent photo galleries: Death Guild's h.Naoto Fashion Show; Mortified's sold out Doomed Valentines Show, and Blow Up's Stretch Armstrong, Drop the Lime and Classixx parties.

There has been actual construction work on the second floor of the pizza place! Well, "demolition" work, but that's close enough. Hammers were swung. Massive piles of junk were hauled out.

They've removed the interior walls from the back room. It's a really nice-sized space now! Too bad we're about to shrink it again by carving some bathrooms out of it. Photos:

I don't think I've mentioned what used to be up here before... apparently one of the previous tenants had, how shall I put this delicately, a "hydroponic garden" of some kind. There was a pair of rooms that you could only enter by climbing through a window that were covered, floor, walls and ceiling, with slick white plastic. It was creepy as hell, like a Dexter kill-room but less obsessively tidy:

I also don't think I've mentioned that we're getting a parklet! The location has been approved, and the next step is to get the Planning Department to sign off on our architectural drawings of it.

This is what's on the street now, spanning DNA Lounge and DNA Pizza:


And this is what it's going to turn in to:


The parklet will be about 30' wide, and have tables and a standing-height railing. In addition to that, we're getting rid of two car spots and adding a bunch of bicycle parking.

I wouldn't be foolish enough to make a guess as to when this will be finished, but so far the bureaucracy has been relatively minimal.

You know who has a puzzling internet footprint? Metal bands.

As you might expect, I have a bunch of feeds of searches for mentions of DNA Lounge. Normally this turns up the occasional article or mention of us or a band who is playing here. However, when we have an upcoming show by a metal band, the references go CRAZY. Apparently every metal fan in the world has a blog, and every one of them feels the need to post the entire worldwide tour schedule of every metal band that exists. It feels like the kind of copy-and-paste that you see from adword-farming spam-blogs, but I've looked at a few of them, and it seems not. I guess the metal fans are just obsessive enough that they all consider it front page news that a band they like is playing a show in a city that is six thousand miles away. (Some are reposting articles from other blogs, but mostly they appear to be real blogs.)

So I end up getting half a dozen notifications a day that look like this:

Hails and Horns - PAGANFEST AMERICA Part III to feature four ...
4/12 - Lubbock, TX @ Jake's 4/13 - Denver, CO @ The Marquis 4/15 - Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven 4/16 - Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre 4/17 - San Francisco, CA @ DNA Lounge 4/18 - West Hollywood, CA @ Key Club 4/19 - Tempe ...

Turisas To Headline "Paganfest: America Part III" Tour | Heavy Metal ...
4/12 - Lubbock, TX @ Jake's 4/13 - Denver, CO @ The Marquis 4/15 - Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven 4/16 - Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre 4/17 - San Francisco, CA @ DNA Lounge 4/18 - West Hollywood, CA @ Key Club 4/19 - Tempe ...

Apr. 05 - Oakland, CA @ The Pound (city and venue change, show now in San Francisco, CA DNA Lounge) Apr. 06 - Hollywood, CA @ House Of Blues Apr. 07 - Tempe, AZ @ Marquee Theater Apr. 09 - Denver, CO @ The Summit Music ...

SEPULTURA North American Tour: Schedule Updated
04/11/12 DNA Lounge - San Francisco, CA - No DEATH ANGEL 04/12/12 Branx - Portland, OR 04/13/12 Studio Seven - Seattle, WA 04/14/12 In The Venue - Salt Lake City, UT 04/15/12 Gothic Theatre - Englewood, CO 04/16/12 Manny's ...

Se revelan las fechas de tour norteamericano de Sepultura, Death ...
Abr. 11 - DNA Lounge - San Francisco, CA (Sin DEATH ANGEL) Abr. 12 - Branx - Portland, OR Abr. 13 - Studio Seven - Seattle, WA Abr. 14 - In The Venue - Salt Lake City, UT Abr. 15 - Gothic Theatre - Englewood, CO Abr. 16 - Manny's ...

rockcultural: Sepultura e Krisiun anunciam longa tour pela America ...
April 10 - Santa Ana, CA @Yost Theater April 11 - San Francisco, CA @DNA Lounge April 12 - Portland, OR @Branx April 13 - Seattle, WA @Studio Seven April 14 - Salt Lake City, UT @In The Venue April 15 - Denver, CO @Gothic Theater ...

Horns Up Rocks: TURISAS Are Gearing Up For "PaganFest ...
4/13 - Denver, CO @ The Marquis 4/15 - Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven 4/16 - Portland, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre 4/17 - San Francisco, CA @ DNA Lounge 4/18 - West Hollywood, CA @ Key Club 4/19 - Tempe, AZ @ 910 Live Related links: ...

HAVOK To Release EP Late May | Unhallowed Nation Magazine
4/11/2012 DNA Lounge - San Francisco, CA. 4/12/2012 Branx - Portland, OR. 4/13/2012 Studio Seven - Seattle, WA. 4/14/2012 In The Venue - Salt Lake City, UT. 4/15/2012 Gothic Theatre - Englewood, CO. 4/16/2012 Manny's - Billings, MT ...

Fans of other genres don't do this. It's weird.

The other thing about metal bands: they still use Myspace.

As we get repeat visits from bands, DJs and other performers here, I update their URL links on our calendar, and there has been a steady progression of replacing their old Myspace URLs with new Facebook URLs. I don't think I've added a new Myspace URL to the calendar in five years -- except for metal bands, who are all still using Myspace. It's baffling.

I'm not seeking theories to explain this (I'm sure you have them), it's just a little internet-sociological oddity that I've noticed.

So, Free Coffee February is almost over, and has resulted in what can generously be described as a "smattering" of new customers. Not exactly the hockey-stick graph one dreams of.

I had a frustrating conversation the other day with someone whose company has for several years been in the office building on our block that is just past Slim's. Though he's a regular of DNA Lounge, and enjoys our pizza, he was somehow unaware that we were open in the morning, or that we have espresso. I asked him, "Have you even noticed that we have those A-frame signs on the corners hyping coffee?" He said, "Oh, I walk by that every day. I walk by and think, 'Oh, hey, DNA, I like those guys'. I've never actually read it, I guess!"

It was frustrating because here's a guy who is exactly our target market for the morning/lunchtime crowd, and we were completely failing to reach him with our message of, "Hey, we exist". I don't know why, and neither did he.

We had an Entertainment Commission hearing yesterday, and it couldn't have gone better! One of the many steps on the road to cutting a door in the wall is getting our entertainment permits adjusted to cover the new, larger rectangle encompassing both DNA Lounge and DNA Pizza. So, pretty much any time you make any change to any permit, the city will take that opportunity to slap a bunch of new conditions on the permit. But... not this time! In fact, apparently what happened was that SFPD gave the Entertainment Commission a last-minute list of new recommended conditions to saddle us with that they pulled out of their ass. We haven't even seen them, but apparently they included things like how many drinks we are allowed to sell to each person!

Well, the commissioners looked at that list, laughed at it, and approved our permit with no additional conditions over what we have now! I believe "Epic Win" might be the appropriate exclamation here. You can watch our entire hearing in the video (or WMV download) starting at around 2:00:06:

Audrey Joseph: Officer Chan from Southern Station has submitted a bunch of these recommendation sheets... and they're all exactly the same. And it seems like... it's... a little odd.

Jocelyn Kane: I'm not going to speak in defense of Southern Station, but these came in late today, and I got them. And that's all I can say. [Laughs] You can abide by them or not, that is your prerogative.

Audrey Joseph: It is not within our purview to talk about stacking drinks or how many drinks should be sold per person, so I think those should be eliminated.

Jocelyn Kane: And I don't believe the applicant has even seen these, again, since I hammered them out of Southern Station before this meeting. [Laughs]

Jocelyn Kane: Hi, Barry!

John Newlin: Any other commissioner questions? Members of the public? Nobody from the public? OK.

Audrey Joseph: I move to approve this permit, with our standard Good Neighbor policies, and not Southern Station's conditions. That is my motion.

John Newlin: Ok. You good with that?

Barry Synoground: Thanks for having me. And um... Sounds great!

John Newlin: Thank you. Do we have a second? Seconded. Same. Any objections? Ok, you're good to go. Good luck.

That's probably the shortest hearing that has ever happened in the history of ever.

It's kind of amazing and awesome to see the EC smack down the SFPD like that. And in fact, it happened three more times during the meeting, with other applicants! You can see Commissioner Joseph getting pissed off at these SFPD antics at around 2:51:00 in the video:

Audrey Joseph: Vaj, you go to these meetings with the permit officers... Don't you talk to them about our conditions? We get all of these really silly conditions that have to do with things we have no jurisdiction over, and all this other... stuff?

Vajra Granelli: Commissioner Joseph, I think you have to remember that often the conditions that are handed in by permit officers do not come from the permit officers but come from their Captains and Lieutenants and sometimes from 850 itself. They are quite often the messenger, not the creator.

Audrey Joseph: Ok. Good point. [Sighs.] I give in.

So, now we're done with Planning and Entertainment, which leaves Building and ABC still to do. Our paperwork is sitting in someone's inbox at Building (and I strongly suspect that it's actual paper, in an actual box with "In" written on the side) and ABC won't do anything until that's done.

Meanwhile, if you want to watch how things can go badly for you in these hearings, check out the hearing for Rock It Room, starting at around 0:39:10. I don't know anything about this venue, but among the litany of complaints brought against them is the amazing story told at around 0:45:00, where a cop says that he saw their visibly intoxicated security staff doing shots while on duty, and when the cop talked to them about it, the club's head of security tried to take a swing at the cop! The other staff held him back, and he's apparently still the head of security.

So... That didn't go well. At one point, one of the commissioners said to the owners, "This is not 'Let's make a deal', this is, 'How are you gonna save your license?'" Oh, snap.

Usually these hearings are not very exciting, but sometimes...

Anyhow, we have some new photo galleries since last time:

I would also like to mention that there is entirely too much urine in my nightclub in places where urine ought not go, and I wish you savages would knock that the fuck off.