Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new best friend, 20-year-old Kyle Neesan, of 160 Dublin Drive, Vallejo, CA.
At Death Guild on Jan 16 around midnight, our staff noticed new graffiti on one of our interior doors. Based on the 2-3 minute timeframe in which it had to have occurred and the small number of people around at the time, there was only one person who could have done it. They found that guy across the street and confronted him. He voluntarily emptied his pockets revealing the tools of his "trade", and he had marker stains on his fingers.
At this point, someone noticed that he had also destroyed our men's room: his fancy little pirate name was scribbled on several of the stall walls, and etched into the glass of the mirror in foot-high swoops. He also vandalized several of our table-tops. (Doesn't he have great penmanship? I'll bet his mom's really proud. If I had her email address, I'd ask.)
All told, this douchebag cost us nearly $1,000 in repairs in a matter of minutes, so we arrested him for felony vandalism.
However, when SFPD showed up, they refused to charge him because we hadn't actually seen him in the act. They let him go.
Should you run into Kyle Neesan, please be sure to let him know what you think of his hobby.