Hey, look at that, our ABC paperwork is done:

Also, photos are up of the most recent Hubba Hubba Revue, by a whole bunch of different photographers this time.

Tonight: the Debut hair show. Tomorrow: Lords of Acid & Angelspit. The previous Lords of Acid show was a lot of fun (and sold out!) so you should get your tickets now...

I got some really good shots last night -- photos are up of the Lords of Acid + Angelspit + Radical G show.

It was a great show! Good to see that Scorpius is still rocking those mad Peacekeeper beats. I think the Lords were even better this time than they were at the July show (though having Thrill Kill Kult on that bill did elevate that experience). Their new singer has a great voice. I enjoyed Angelspit, too -- they put on a really energetic show and seemed to be having a great time. (That's in contrast to most bands in that vein of industrial, who seem to just want you to know how angry you make them.)

Fun fact: apparently at some point on the tour, someone stole Lords of Acid's rubber doll.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Today I handed over the first of a series of large-ish checks, and in return received the keys to the pizza place.

In order to facilitate the existence of wifi on our existing network next door, our electrician drilled a hole from the DNA office to the pizza place's office. Unfortunately, the architect's measurements were... a little bit off. (The pizza building is 2' shorter than the DNA building! Surprise!) So, when the hole came through the wall, it ended up in the DNA's front office instead of the back office. So a detour had to be made. Here's what we ended up with:

And yes, he did drill right through that driver's license! That's the girl's face hanging from the conduit like a necklace. Our electrician is awesome.

Some day there will be a really bitchin' sign here:

The front room upstairs is actually pretty nice! It has often been office space. The back room... we won't discuss that right now. But it's like one of Dexter's kill rooms without the tidy charm or good lighting.

We have another awesome sliding fire-door! It's even the same manufacturer as the door downstairs. But this one is more awesome because the counter-weight is still attached, so it opens and closes easily!

As you can see, it's walled over, but you can still see the other side of it if you look closely. Go into the upstairs lounge at DNA, stand about five feet from the bathroom door, and look to the right. You can see the outline of the doorway on the wall.

You can also detect a... complication. You'll note that the bottom of the doorway is about a foot above DNA's floor. That's because the upstairs floors of the pizza building don't even remotely line up with DNA's. At the back of the building, the pizza place is about a foot higher, and at the front it seems to be more like 3' or 4'.

I do not like this complication. Not one bit.

Here's something I never expect that I would own:

Here's something else I never expect that I would own. This is a no joke mixer. This mixer has no sense of humor whatsoever. It is Serious Business.

And this is a cheese grater. It also has no time for your shenanigans. It may surprise you to learn that a pizza restaurant grates a lot of cheese.

Plumbers truly are masters of the avant-garde. What the fuck. I mean seriously, what the fuck. This is some Dr. Seuss engineering right here.

Here's the real reason we bought the pizza place: so we can park our ATM there and get fat off of those delicious, delicious service fees. (Ha ha, only serious.)

While installing it, Alexis had to fend off a couple of aggro crackheads with his screwdriver. I'm not making this up.

And then the most amazing thing happened. While opening the garage door, it fell suddenly closed and began making the most fascinating noise. Jay ventured up into the ceiling crawlspace to investigate, and found the cause: this big fucking spring broke. This spring, apparently, makes the door go up and down. And please don't think I'm exaggerating here, because when I say "big fucking spring" I mean it's like twelve feet long and six inches across:

I think it's probably as old as the building itself. I also think it's probably expensive. This happened like two hours after we got the keys. This restaurant is broken. Maybe I should send it back.

At least this place is pre-loved. Well broken in. A real fixer-upper. Lots of room for improvement.


Many photos of our last regular New Wave City are also up now. We will see them again, though: I think the next NWC at DNA will probably be in July. But this does mean you can get your Bootie on four times a month!

10-Mar-2011 (Thu)

It is a banner day, people. I just ate the first slice of DNA Pizza!

Prototype Slice #0 --

And here's where it came from:

We may be open tonight, but we will certainly be open tomorrow for Blow Up, so come early and come hungry!

Yesterday we went to the Sysco Food Show. What I learned was: almost everything that most restaurants serve is pre-fab, and all of it is distributed by -- and half of it is also manufactured by -- Sysco. I felt like I was at Stark Expo.

This weekend also begins the three day extravaganza that is Death Guild's Eighteenth Anniversary. Sunday is an all-ages live show with Assemblage 23, System Syn & FGFC820; Monday is an 18+ dance party with the usual suspects; and Tuesday is an all-ages live show with Imperative Reaction, Ayria & Panic Lift.

Discount three day passes are still available!

There was a really nice write-up about the anniversary in The Guardian yesterday.

We met with our lawyers and architect again today to plot the course of our lot-merger project; wheels are turning. Our architect also had some clever ideas for how to deal with the fact that the second floors don't match up.

This next bit is probably only of interest to a small number of people, but this information was to hard to come by that I'm publishing it here so that it doesn't get lost again. Here's a 1992 document laying out the concessions that Costco had to agree to before they were allowed to build their store at 11th and Harrison:

SF City Planning Dept., Section 101.1 Findings, 450 10th Street, Assessor's Block 3524.

Page 2:
B. Other Elements of the Project.
1. Parking. A minimum of 720 parking spaces will be available to operators, employees and customers of nearby evening and nighttime restaurants, nightclubs, dance halls, galleries and theatre establishments, at prevailing market rates in the area, daily after Costco's hours of operation until at least 2:00 a.m. [...] The main vehicular entry to the nighttime parking shall be the 11th Street entrance closest to Harrison Street.

[Costco] will close and interrupt the public parking availability only when required to do so for maintenance, repair, reconstruction, alteration of the premises or due to circumstances beyond its reasonable control. [...] [Costco] shall post signs indicating the location, hours of operation and cost of public parking resources on the site. The 10th Street parking access will be restricted to an entrance only with no exiting.

So this says that Costco is legally required to make their parking lot available to the local nightclubs until 2AM.

It took our lawyer literally 3 months to track down this document. Many people "knew" it existed, but nobody had a copy. As I understand it, he eventually found a copy in a box in a basement of someone's office on Treasure Island.

The reason this matters to us -- a lot -- is that one of the things that is likely to come out of our lot merger is that the city will tell us, "Well, you're expanding your business, so that means you have to prove that you have enough parking for the bigger business." This is silly in at least two ways. The first being that, while DNA Lounge is technically expanding, it's expanding by the exact amount of the pizza restaurant that it is absorbing: both of those businesses already exist today! It's a zero-sum game. And the second reason it's silly is that requiring businesses to provide parking sort of flies in the face of the city's more-public-transit, fewer-cars policies of recent years. But, they're gonna ask us to show we have parking, and now we can.

Allow me to direct your attention to the Webcasts page, where we publish a streaming "radio station" (for lack of a better term) of random songs by many of the bands who have performed here.

I've recently gone through and updated it, just about doubling the number of bands represented. Give it a listen! It's, uh... eclectic.

Incidentally, anyone got a suggestion for a simple Flash-based MP3 player that I could embed on the webcast archives page? I need one that allows seeking in the stream. I just tried out five or six different ones, and none of them were able to seek properly on my URLs. (Seeking works fine in iTunes, so it's a player problem, not a server problem.)

14-Mar-2011 (Mon)
Wherein we've lost Eddie.

I'm very sorry to report that Eddie Dane (born Eric Christensen), passed away on Thursday.

Sparkly Devil wrote:

I know some of you already know, but for those that don't: San Francisco producer and MC Eddie Dane passed away today. He was 42.

Eddie was the founder of Dane's Dames, one of the very first neo-burlesque troupes in the country. Some of you remember him from the very first Teaseorama in New Orleans. He went on to produce San Francisco's Spectacular Spectacular, and Hubba Hubba Revue.

I know this comes as a shock to many. Eddie has struggled with heart problems over the past 4 years, and recently those issues were compounded by kidney failure. Eddie was in the hospital for the past 6 weeks, and today he died very peacefully, surrounded by his family and loved ones.

Eddie was one of the founding members of our community; a hilarious comedian, a fantastic MC, and an all around bad ass guy. He leaves behind many who loved him and were greatly inspired by him. He will be dearly missed by us all.

We will be having a memorial party in his honor on April 14th.

SF Burlesque Review and Shimmy Shaker have both posted rememberances.

Many more photos are up of the last Blow Up, including the photo booth. Also we have some photos of the Bootie Brides of March party, and some behind-the-scenes shots of the DAMSF fashion show.

Also, here's an interview with Angie Bowie who was the special guest at the last Trannyshack.

You may have noticed that Slim's has been closed for a week. As the signs they've posted on their front door show, they are victims of an ABC license suspension due to repeated noise complaints from a single neighbor. Some details are here. They've been dealing with this woman for some time, and the stories I've heard about their struggle are mind-blowingly infuriating, but alas, they're not my stories to tell.

They sure have my sympathy, though. One neighbor with a grudge can really screw things up for a lot of people.

Here's a better article, including quotes from Dawn Holliday, Slim's manager:

Slim's Liquor License Temporarily Suspended Due to Neighbor Complaints

Holliday says Guenot can't even be certain that noise is actually coming from Slim's, and has recently begun complaining to police about another neighbor, the nightclub Butter. But the terms of Slim's liquor license have made it especially vulnerable to noise complaints. Holliday says that when seeking a permit for the club before its opening in 1988, she agreed to terms that no noise would be heard beyond the club's doors.

"There was nobody down here then," Holliday says.

Since 1999, after spending more than $100,000 on sound insulation, Slim's noise levels have been measured by officials from the San Francisco Entertainment Commission, and found to be in accordance with the city's noise ordinance, Holliday says.

That hasn't stopped the calls to police. Since 2007, when Guenot moved in, Holliday says she has spent more than $250,000 on legal fees battling charges from her neighbor that the club is too loud. "The outcome of this long siege has been that we did need to take the closure, the punishment," Holliday says.

Let's all take a moment to be filled with blinding rage, shall we?

Ok, moving on.

Here's an op-ed from Senator Leno about the legislation he's introducing to make everyone believe that infusions are still legal.

I phrase it that way because there is no way that under current law any sane person could think that infusions are actually illegal. This is a complete fantasy, a willful misreading of the statute by out-of-control ABC prosecutors. I wrote about this extensively back in February 2010.

It's bullshit. But, this legislation will make ABC STFU about it, I guess.

Oh, also, Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew is running for Mayor of Miami. How about that.

Last week Devon and Steen went into unspeakable crawlspaces with a spool of Cat5, and today John and I hooked up four more wireless access points in the pizza place. DNA Pizza now has basically the same wifi capacity as DNA Lounge itself. It's kind of overkill, but I got ten of these APs as a batch on eBay for cheap last year, so we might as well use them.

There's Internets all over the place now. We're just spraying Internets all over the street. People will be driving by and get home and think, what is this crap on my window? Is this Internets? It's like when you order a slice of pizza and first you have to take a bunch of napkins and sop up all the Internets pooling on top.

Yeah, it's kind of like that.

25-Mar-2011 (Fri)
Wherein BEER!

Ladies and Gentlemen, today you can finally have a beer with your pizza!

We got our temporary liquor license today, pending finalization of the transfer of the previous owners' beer-and-wine license to us. We had been told that we would be handed this temporary permit on the same day we went into the ABC office to turn in the paperwork, back on March 2nd, but it should be no surprise to any of you by now that when some government organization says "same day" they often mean "three and a half weeks".

Just before tonight's Hubba Hubba Revue would be a great time for some pizza and beer, don't you think?

28-Mar-2011 (Mon)
Wherein the Nineties return.

Photos are up of the latest Hubba Hubba Revue, "The Nineties Show", which the kids are saying may well have been the best Hubba ever. It included the In Living Hubba Fly Girls, a dot-com-bubble-based balloon-popping act, an acrobatic pole-dancing Leeloo Dallas, and a burlesque re-cap of the entire Clinton administration, among other fine and topical acts.

Have you watched the video that the Blow Up folks made to promote the "Miss Blow Up USA" contest at their April party? I keep showing it to people, because it's one of the most disturbing Youtube artifacts I've seen in some time:

I posted this question on my other blog, but I might as well ask here too. Any suggestions for point-of-sale software for DNA Pizza? Our requirements include:

  • Runs on a Mac Mini with touchscreen and cash drawer;

  • Has support for pizza-specific order details, such as, two toppings on one half, three different toppings on the other half;

  • Understands delivery orders as well as in-person orders;

  • Can do caller-ID-based database queries, to enable conversations like, "Is this Foo? Are you still at 123 Bar St.? Would you like the same thing you ordered last time?"

There are a huge number of rather sophisticated looking pizza-restaurant-specific software packages out there for Windows that do this and more, but I haven't been able to track down any Mac versions yet. (Anything running on a Microsoft substrate is a deal-breaker, so let's not even discuss it, ok?)

We inherited a Linux-based POS from the previous owners, but it's crappy, and tech support is from a phone bank in India, so we're just going to junk it.

Today we went down to the ABC office to fill out another enormous pile of paperwork. When we did this earlier this month, it was to begin the process of transferring the pizza place's beer-and-wine license to us. Today, we started the process of "transferring" DNA Lounge's liquor license on 375 Eleventh Street to cover both 371 and 375, which is one of the many steps involved in fully merging the two businesses.

So much paperwork. It took us like two and a half hours to get through it all, and we had filled out most of the forms before we got there.

The ABC offices, as you can see, combine the charm of the DMV with the comfort of a high school principal's office.

This trip resulted in a second window poster, pictured above. Nobody's going to understand what either of these mean, but we're required to post each of them for 30 days. We're also going to have to mail out letters to everyone who lives within 500'. Did you know that there are companies who do nothing but produce lists of addresses within a radius? It's a whole industry, because apparently people have to do these kinds of mailings all the time, and nobody wants to take the time to compile the list themselves. (You'd think you could just pull this out of Google Maps somehow...)

A more interesting poster situation is going on inside DNA Pizza: we're framing and hanging a bunch of posters from old shows at DNA Lounge. (You'd have seen this picture earlier today if you followed "dnapizza" on the Twitters or the Facebooks, which you oughta!)

These posters were previously hidden away, covering the walls in the DNA back office where very few people ever got to see them. They don't cover every show we've had here, just the ones for which we printed posters, which is a good portion of the live shows, I think.

Once we have them all up, it should pretty much fill both of the walls in the back half of the dining room! We're going to have to pack them much more tightly together than in these photos to make them all fit.