9-May-2003 (Fri) Wherein we hear the very modern stylings of EmCee WhinyPants.

Well, the DNA Lounge security staff now has a theme song!

I'm sure anyone who actually reads this journal has some inkling of the fact that the reason clubs don't allow people to bring in outside liquor is not just because that's the only way we can afford to stay open, but also because it's against the law: allowing that sort of thing can cost you your liquor license.

So tonight one of the performers came in, got up on stage, and plopped her flask right down in front of her. Matt noticed this, went over and gave her the "what do you think you're doing" look; she ignored him, so he took the flask, emptied it in the nearest sink, and gave it back to the promoter.

The result? MC WhinyPants started rapping out four minutes worth of death threats! The gist of it was that she was not only going to shoot him in the head (sorry, choot him in the head), but his children too!

"That shit ain't right, that shit ain't cool, and he knows the rules, you just don't dump out some girl's shit. Foo!"

This is a keeper. You can listen to it here. The sound quality is pretty lousy, but it was lousy in person too.

Oh, and for full effect when listening to the distinctive African-American vernacular in this rap, please keep in mind that the MC was actually a blonde, nerdy looking white girl.

Apparently the song didn't get it out of her system, because afterward she stood outside and spent more than an hour loudly bitching about it to her friends, too. Maybe she was waiting to see if Matt was going to come out and "represent."

8 Responses:

  1. arino says:

    Where's the "remove someone from the human race" petition... Why is it that every day, I get older and I get more and more fascist...

  2. YAY, you put it up!
    i was so hoping you would!

    probably one of the high points of my night was standing outside and listening to her complain about being kicked out in gangsta-language to the large african-american security guard, as i yelled: "GO WHITE GIRL!"

    damn, i have to marry matt now.
    too bad he hates me/wishes me dead.

  3. tfofurn says:

    Great! Now there's one more detail to communicate to every bit of "talent" that hopes to walk through your door. How long will it be until someone tries to smoke on stage?

    She's almost as funny as the Madonna remixes.

  4. baconmonkey says:

    do people really smoke cocaine?
    listen @2:15

  5. 33mhz says:

    "It's bad enough that I gotta live just to stay alive"

    She's clearly the most gifted lyricist of her generation.

  6. nachtfalke says:

    Listening to that "music" has somehow made me more stupid, I fear.

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