I am absolutely amazed at how well our Cyberdelia: 20 Years of Hackers party went! Honestly, it was a somewhat last-minute idea: I knew the anniversary was coming up, and we had an open Friday within a week of it, so I sent a three-line email to the usual suspects saying, "Hey, let's throw a Hackers anniversary party, with a movie screening and a costume contest. Oh, and let's build skate ramps."

I thought 150 people were going to show up and we were going to have to cancel the costume contest because the only person in costume was gonna be me. But no! Not only did lots of people dress up, but the damned thing sold out! We also sold all of our table service booths, which usually only happens on New Year's Eve!

The skate ramps -- which, in case you didn't notice, were painted with Wipeout power-ups -- were the most contentious part, but I'm happy to report that A) nobody broke their face, and B) that was because it was so crowded that nobody could really do a lot of skating.

At the last minute, my crew tried to talk me out of building the skate ramps, on the grounds of them being difficult, expensive, dangerous and just a monumentally stupid idea, and they probably would have succeeded if I hadn't just read Steve Albini's screed on punk and capitalism that morning. "A bakery opens because a guy wants to make bread." Why are we here? We are here to do shit like building skate ramps down the stairs.

We had some inspired prizes for the costume contest, if I do say so myself. We included some blu-rays of the movie (donated by our similarly Hackers-obsessed friends at Adafruit), but I also trolled eBay for some great stuff. We had an original Hackers press kit, some original posters, a stack of issues of 2600 from 1995/6, and the best part, the first prize winner walked away with a stack of the books discussed in the movie: The Green Book, International UNIX Environments; The Orange Book, Computer Security Criteria DOD Standards; The Pink Book, Guide to IBM PCs; The Devil Book, Unix Bible, The Dragon Book, Compiler Design; and the Ugly Red Book That Doesn't Fit on the Shelf, NSA Trusted Networks. So he's all set up to learn some things and become Nineties Elite.

So obviously we're going to do it again. Stay tuned. We will probably do a different movie next time, but the conceit will still be that you are watching that movie before partying at the club Cyberdelia as depicted in Hackers, and the music will be mid-nineties electronica. So basically we're hoping to make Cyberdelia be our irregularly-scheduled "Nineties" party. Lots of people have thrown nineties parties, but those folks all seem to think that that means Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys and similar top 40 nonsense. I don't go to those parties because that's not the nineties I gave a shit about: the nineties dance music I remember was Fluke, Chemical Brothers, Orbital, FSOL and Photek. And I guess some of you agree.

Anyway, check out the photos, and if you have more, let me know! There has also been a lot of hacker chatter on the Facebook event.

In Codeword news: I don't have any very interesting photos from the last few weeks, but the windows are in, the stainless steel on the walls behind the kitchen is nearly done, and basically things are pretty close to being finished -- except for our HVAC system (the kitchen hood, and the two runs of ductwork that have to go four stories up to the roof). That subcontractor is being a huge flake and is probably going to be the weakest link who delays our opening date by weeks. Hooray.

Photo dump!

Toxic Summer
Who Ha
DJ Starscream
So Stoked: Freak Show
Kid Cadaver

Hubba Hubba 9th Anniversary
Body Language
Black Pussy

The Lucky Eejits
Monday Hubba

Plus, a lot of Bootie (I believe the proper collective noun for that is a "buttload"):

Bump Bass Bounce
Michael Jackson
Retro Night
Shabbat Shalom Motherfuckers

Did you hear? We're throwing a HACKERS party!

It's only two weeks from now, so please help us spread the word. That doesn't give you a whole lot of time to work on your costumes -- but I'd better see some costumes, you people. Our gogos are very enthusiastic about this one, so that's a good sign!

Fri Sep 25
20 Years of Hackers!

  • Movie screening at 8pm; dance party after!
  • Hackers costume contest at midnight!
  • Head-to-head PS1 Wipeout XL competition throughout the night!
  • The Cyberdelia Gogo Dancers!
  • Rollerblades welcome...

"Hackers penetrate and ravage delicate public and privately owned computer systems, infecting them with viruses, and stealing materials for their own ends. These people, they are terrorists."

Can you believe that the movie Hackers was released twenty years ago? Neither can we, but we're throwing a dance party to celebrate! We're dressing up DNA Lounge as Cyberdelia, the club from the film (yes, we realize that's not much of a stretch...)

Join us for a screening of the movie at 8pm, followed by a dance party featuring only early 90s electronica! Also, we've installed an Olympic-sized swimming pool on the roof.

Costumes strongly encouraged -- are you more of an Acid Burn, a Phantom Phreak, a Mr. The Plague Sir, or a Joey? Join us for the costume contest at midnight, win cash and fabulous Hackers-themed prizes!


The plumbing, both below and above ground, is done, and approved, and now they can close up the bars, which they have begun doing. Most of the wall dividing the restaurant from the nightclub is complete. (It will be a mostly very-thick-glass wall, with curtains for when we want to block off more light.) Also, the front wall windows are framed and awaiting glass insertion.

Everything is going relatively smoothly, but not as quickly as I would like, but it's for a new reason than usual: our contractor can't find workers. Apparently everybody in construction is really busy right now, so we've only got two or three guys working, when we could be keeping six or seven of them busy without them stepping on each other. So that's a drag. And as a result of that, I'm pretty sure we've already blown our internal deadline, and won't be open by REDACTED, which is an annoyingly expensive deadline to miss.

The rusty gears of the ABC have begun to roll. They gave us their proposed conditions for our liquor license ("WHEREAS the issuance of an unrestricted license would be contrary to public welfare and morals...") and they're mostly bearable, but we're still bickering about language, which goes like this:

"You realize that the literal interpretation of this is impossible for anyone to comply with, right?"
"Well that's what we're putting on everybody's permits now. And we wouldn't expect you to literally comply with it, we're all reasonable people here."
"I think it would be reasonable for you to write down the words with which you expect me to literally comply."

It's awesome.

Getting approval for parking the walk-in fridge in the base of one of the light wells is taking longer than it sanely should, so we might end up pushing that project out to after opening, and just only having bottled (not tap) beer for the first few weeks. That's not ideal, but being open is better than not being open.

Our newly-poured floor already has cracks in it, because the construction guys next door keep backing things into the building hard enough to buckle it. Like our own little 2.8 quake every few days, just to keep us on our toes. I guess this is going to be an ongoing process.

A few photos:

Bootside Lands
Sequence: Designer Drugs
Dread Crew Of Oddwood
Skatalites + Phenomenauts

Hubba Hubbpocalypse
Bootie: 12-Year Anniversary

Ladies and Gentlemen:
The Second Annual DNA Lounge Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge:

It took a little while, because that's a lot of video to edit. Thank you, John!

Also, don't miss the photo gallery of the event, or the 2014 video re-cap.

13-Aug-2015 (Thu)
Wherein we have floors.

So the day after I posted about the Planning department telling us we can't serve food between 2am and 6am, we got a call from someone at Planning. The conversation went something like:

    "What are you talking about? We wouldn't restrict your hours!"
    "That's funny, because I have an email here from ____ saying 'We're going to restrict your hours.'"
    "Well that doesn't sound right."
    "I agree! That doesn't sound right!"

Then a few days later, the first person doubled down! He said, "Well, you know, since the bar that was there before never opened before 9pm, it would actually be an 'intensification of use' for you to be open for breakfast or lunch too, so you'll need to apply for that, too."

Then someone else at Planning 'clarified' that actually Planning isn't in charge of this, but the Entertainment Commission is, so they passed the buck there. Which is great, because we already have our Entertainment Commission approval.

So, I think we're past this particular nonsense?

I think they are still of the opinion that we can't have "live entertainment" during the Lord's Hours of 2am through 6am, but we are allowed to be a 24 hour restaurant. So we will be fighting that too, obviously -- and that will probably take a year -- but at least they have not managed to 100% torpedo our business model.

I still feel so sorry for anyone trying to open a business in this town. Someone who hadn't been through the shit we've been through probably would have just believed the nonsense that Planning spouted at us the first time around, and wouldn't have the experience that we do in going through other channels to get actual adults to intervene and give us a less insane answer.

Oh, we still don't have a liquor license. There are many phases of a permit application process that have time limits attached to them, e.g., there's a 30 day public posting, and then a hearing, and then you get your response 30 days after that; but it seems that we have moved into the section of the flow chart labelled "You'll get it when we get around to it." What we're waiting for at this point is to learn the list of conditions that ABC is going to restrict our permit with. You may recall from the previous times that we danced this dance that ABC and SFPD like to use each other as cover -- SFPD likes to say, "Well, it's ABC's decision" and ABC likes to say, "Well, we're just doing what SFPD recommended." Anyway, we have already seen and agreed to the conditions that SFPD recommended (they were inexplicably mostly reasonable! The devil you say!) so hopefully ABC will just rubber-stamp those and we can all live happily ever after.

And hopefully they will do this before we're ready to open.

Anyway, Plumbing Phase 1 is done, meaning we were able to close up the floors, and now we can start building the bars and counter-tops that will sit on top of those floors. Plumbing Phase 2 is the junk inside the bars to make them go. The floor is a wood frame with about an inch of concrete on top, so closing them means filling in the hole with plywood; putting down a waterproof membrane; then a layer of chicken wire; then pouring concrete on top of that.

In addition to the water and drain pipes, we also left in place some thick PVC channels that will eventually have the beer and soda lines snaked through them, so they can get from the back wall to the front wall of the bar beneath the floor, and without having to cut into the floor again.

Also we tore open the front of the building to expose the places where the windows were once and will be again. "Restore windows to original condition", the plans say. And I learned the word "clerestory". Hopefully we'll have glass in there in the next couple of weeks. But you won't get to see it, because we're just going to cover it with plywood again, since we'd like to not have to replace the tagged glass six times before we open.

Recent photos! Holy crap, was that Lydia Lunch show amazing. If you didn't come to that, you made an enormous mistake.

Big Talk
The Weirdos + The Adolescents
Lydia Lunch

Plumbing proceeds apace! The floor is all cut open and drains and floor sinks for the new kitchen and bar are being installed. Windows are coming soon, but most other things have to wait until the floor has been re-assembled. It sure is nice that the floor is on a frame instead of on a poured slab like at DNA. Well, except for that pesky liquefaction thing. But hey, I hear the sea levels are going to rise 10' within 50 years anyway. Hopefully SOMA won't wash away before the end of our lease.

The latest static we are getting from Planning is about late night operation -- you know, during The Lord's Hours, those four hours between 2am and 6am every day. We all know that those are the hours during which the Great State of California has decreed that it is wrong to drink alcohol. And we're somewhat used to the idea that the Great City of San Francisco tends to prefer that you not provide entertainment or an outlet for dancing during The Lord's Hours. You'd expect that that's what they're giving us grief about, right? You'd expect that this is the City's traditional hate for late-night entertainment.

But no, it's even better. They are objecting to the notion that we might be serving pizza after 2am. They are telling us that we need to schedule a hearing to apply for special dispensation to serve food between 2am and 6am -- even if we were selling that food in total silence.

You wonder why you can't get food late at night in this podunk town? This is why.

The fun part about this is that we asked Planning whether they were going to give us grief about this even before we signed our lease, and they told us "no problem". Of course they will only ever tell you things like that verbally, with no paper trail, until they change their minds.

Not being able to serve food after hours completely fucks our business, of course, so we'll be fighting this, but this is another expensive and unnecessary pain in the ass.

San Francisco would truly prefer that you not try to run a business here. As always, they are coming to confiscate your ice cream cones.

Looks like it's been a while since I've done a photo dump. Here are the latest:

So Stoked
Fit For An Autopsy
Vela Eyes + Black English
En Esch

Odd Salon
Peter Murphy
Hubba Hubba: Burlesque Nation
Monday Hubba

Monday Hubba
So Stoked
Dance With The Dead
Doctor Popular

Hubba Hubba: State Fair

Ultra Violent Rays + Barb Wire Dolls
Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge
Melissa Brooks & The Aquadolls
Dead Sara


And today, this very large box was delivered. Witness our new oven! Shiny and Chrome! Oh what a day, oh what a lovely day. It's a Peerless 2348p four stone deck gas oven and it awaits you in Valhalla.

This is our new pizza cutter. Do you like it?



And more on this later (it was amazing), but here's the first video from our Second Annual Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge on Sunday. Drone Shot delivers its payload to an eager bloodbag:

Wondering what progress we've made on CW in the last three weeks? None! Absolutely no progress. Arguably, negative progress. It's like there's a big pile of cash sitting there, and it's on fire, and all of these people are just standing around looking at it and yawning. It's not quite a bonfire but it's definitely simmering.

I just wrote a several-hundred-word blog post explaining the hows and whys of the nothing-happeningness of it all, but I can't post because the people I ridicule in it could still make our lives even more difficult if they felt like it. So you don't get to know. Smiles, everyone smiles!

Look, here's an empty room in which nothing is happening:

We tore down some drywall and found this buried underneath it. I wonder how many years it has been hidden in there.

In just a week and a half, we're celebrating the coming war between man and the brotherhood of machines by going out for drinks! Did you get your tickets yet? Let me introduce you to our confirmed contestants so far:

Alcohol from the skies! Protective gear will be provided -- but you're gonna get wet.
N. E. BREE-8:
"A robot may not, through inaction, allow a human being to come to sobriety."
Tipsy Train:
An unstoppable LEGO juggernaut on wheels! Think Snowpiercer but with alcoholism instead of cannibalism.

"I suggest a new strategy, Sir: Let the Artoo unit win."
This rocket ship makes Cosmopolitans, Cape Cods and Kamikazes, using old-school knobs and dials for that 50s retro flavor.
The Tea Engine:
Dial in your classic tea service in style from a rotary telephone!
We have extended the registration deadline, so if you think you can pull something together in time, you still have a shot!

We also have as our special guest DJ: Robot Dance Party, San Francisco's own ambulatory sound system, recently perp-walked out of Dolores Park for being just too awesome!

Here is our panel of celebrity judges for this year:

Hosted, of course, by the inimitable MC Kingfish of Hubba Hubba Revue.

1-Jul-2015 (Wed)
Wherein no ducks are given.

So this happened:

I'm assuming it was an Emotional Support Duck.

Have you noticed that we replaced the fluorescents in the big sign with LEDs? It's so much brighter than before. Ooooh, aaaaah: