It's time for The Guardian's Best of the Bay so go vote for us, ok? We live for validation. Applicable categories include:

  • Best Late-Night Restaurant: DNA Pizza
  • Best Pizza: DNA Pizza
  • Best Overall Bar: DNA Lounge
  • Best Performance Space: DNA Lounge
  • Best Live Music Venue: DNA Lounge
  • Best Overall Nightlife Venue: DNA Lounge
  • Best Overall Dance Party: Bootie SF
  • Best Rock Club: DNA Lounge
  • Best Burlesque: Hubba Hubba Revue

Let me draw your attention to a few upcoming events:

Next Friday, Kristeen Young, City of Women & The Bedrooms. Kristeen played here a couple of months ago, and it was a fantastic show -- though rather under-attended. So don't make that mistake again! This is going to be great. Also, check out that amazing poster. You can't really tell from the picture, but the text at the bottom is hand-drawn with puffy-paint. CSS doesn't have a "puffy" attribute yet.

The following Friday, Tom Gun Live! It's the new show from the Point Break Live folks, and it will have even more audience participation this time: they're picking six audience members instead of just one. Now, you might be thinking, "But I don't give a shit about Top Gun or Tom Cruise", but seriously, that doesn't matter. This show is going to be hilarious. These guys have a track record on that. Two shows, early and late!

Hey, how's DNA Pizza delivery going? I'm glad you asked It's still a clusterfuck! All of these ordering and delivery companies have some of the most egregious customer service of anyone we've ever dealt with. I mean, we're talking "Comcast" bad. With every one of them, our interactions go like:

  • "We wish to subscribe to your service please."
  • "We're sending you yet another dedicated iPad, it should arrive in two weeks. Good luck finding somewhere to stick it!"
  • "The iPad is here and configured, why aren't we listed on your site?"
  • "Ok, it's all set up!"
  • "No it isn't, we're still not listed on your site."
  • "Ok, that should be fixed within 48 hours!"
  • "I see our listing now, but it won't let me click 'Order'."
  • "Ok, That should be fixed within 48 hours!"
  • "I clicked order, but you never sent us the order."
  • "That should be fixed within 48 hours!"
  • "You sent us the order but your driver never arrived."
  • -- Crickets --

Currently we are engaged in this dance with Doordash, since they appear to be the only delivery company who will deliver food after 11pm (and historically, at least half of our orders happened between midnight and 4am). But we have done this same dance with literally every delivery company we've ever dealt with. They are all this bad! I can't fathom how any of them have customers. Oh wait, it's because they're all equally bad so you don't have any choice.

So currently, if you're trying to have pizza delivered, I think that's working before 11pm, via Grubhub. Maybe.

Also both of our espresso machines are broken again, the one on 11th Street, and the spare that we haven't sold yet from CW. The repair company we've been using has made multiple extremely expensive passes at both of them without solving the problem. So that's awesome. So we're giving up on the actual espresso machine repair company and taking them to the Vespa Guy instead, who is more likely to be able to fix them, but takes a really, really long time.

I have no idea what's wrong with either of them. I mean, I've heard people say words, but as far as I can tell everyone who diagnoses an espresso machine goes directly from "Is it plugged in?" to "It must be the pressure vessel", and later the actual problem turns out to have been something else entirely.

So I hope you don't expect our so-called cafe to have espresso drinks. Sigh.

We're still trying to sell the Codeword liquor license, and for some reason nobody wants to buy it. These things are supposed to be a permanently hot property due to the fact that, like matter and energy, new ones cannot be created, they just move around forever. But we're getting no bites. All the people who know about such things explain it thusly: "Wow, that's really strange." So if you know someone who wants to buy a liquor license, point them our way, ok? We could really use the money.

Past shows!

It's been a while since I've posted a photo gallery update.

The Magnettes were really fun -- and literally 6 people showed up. They were troopers, though: they just gave up on the stage and used the whole Above DNA dance floor for their show instead. I think "intimate" is the euphemism for that. So I tried to tell myself, "Ok, their first album just came out, maybe they're not that well known yet", but a week later, they are posting pictures on their Instagram of them on stage at festivals in front of tens of thousands of people. So I guess we just suck.

We've also had a couple of irritating booking agent interactions lately. The first one went like this:

  • "Hello agent, we would like to book your artist ___"
  • "No tour plans at this time, we'll let you know."
  • Months later: "I see ___ has an album coming out soon, we'd still like to book them."
  • "No tour plans at this time, we'll let you know."
  • Literally two weeks later: they announce their tour, and they're playing at a different local club, having not even given us a chance to bid.

That kind of shit happens constantly, but the next one was particularly awful:

  • "Hey agent, I see your artist ___ is touring again. We hosted them last time, and we overpaid you and took a bath on that show, but we think they're great so we're willing to try again."
  • We work out the details, agent says: "Great! We're confirmed! You can announce tomorrow!"
  • "Hey, I was just about to announce the show, so why do I see that other-local-venue just announced this show on the same date?"
  • "Oops."

Yeah, we literally got an "oops" from the agent. Not a "sorry". Not, "I can't believe I fucked up like that, I'll totally make it up to you." But "oops".

The FM-84 + The Midnight show was both very good, and sold out, though, so there's that! I'm glad synthwave is catching on.

Here's what else you missed:

Аукцыон
The Magnettes
Fit For An Autopsy
Hotline

Hubba Hubba State Fair
Smashed
The Purple Ones
FM-84 + The Midnight

Dorkbot
Bay Area Death Fest
Fury + Gag
Super Action Hubba

And finally: please enjoy jwz mixtape 185.


Well, we're all moved out of Codeword. We spent a couple of days consolidating all of our equipment, moving the best of it over to DNA Lounge and prepping the remainder for sale or for the dump.

Most notably, this means that DNA Pizza gets an upgraded oven. The newer oven from Codeword was both smaller and yet higher capacity than our old oven. It also seems to hold its heat more consistently, and I think the pizza crusts are coming out with a better crispiness. Let us know what you think!

We also swapped a bunch of other gear: coolers, refrigerators, amps, speakers. But one refrigerator in particular... oh, man.

The fridge on the back wall of the pizza bar, underneath the alcohol shelves, has been flaky for years. It was here when we moved in, and we've had to repair the compressor repeatedly. So it was time to swap it out for a new one. We thought we could sell the old one, since the countertop appeared to just be sitting on top of it, so the plan was: tear off countertop, slide old fridge out, slide new fridge in.

But no.

Apparently when some previous tenant originally built this bar, what they did was, they bolted a steel frame to the floor and then welded the refrigerator to that. That is some unprecedented confidence in the lifetime of a refrigerator. So we had to tear the thing apart to get it out.

But also: you may have noticed that the back bar was at a jaunty angle. For some insane reason, they decided to angle the fridge, making the counter way deeper than it would ever need to be, and also leaving a 2'×4' triangular void between the fridge and the wall. It was completely hidden and inaccessible under the counter... but apparently not water-tight.

Also there's a floor drain back there. Equally hidden and unreachable, and completely blocked. This is apparently where the beer taps were draining.

I will spare you the photos of what we found there, but someone said, "I think that's the same stuff that was in the microwave at the end of Time Bandits."

Devon accidentally stepped into the drain. He had to throw that shoe away. I'm surprised he didn't burn it. And his foot. And maybe the whole leg, just to be safe.

So that could have maybe, just maybe, been a part of our fruit fly problem, do you think?

Wheels! All kitchen and bar equipment on wheels! Always!

31-Jul-2017 (Mon)
Wherein Codeword is Kaput.

That's it, Codeword is closed. RIP CW Nov 2015 Jul 2017.

Thanks to all of the promoters who made a go of it, to the customers who actually showed up, and to all of our staff who put up with this disaster.

(I'm trying not to be overly negative or cynical here, but hey, they say write what you know.)

By the numbers:

Total events: 322 (3.5 events per week, not counting happy hour)
Total DJs: 522
Total bands: 94
Total guests: about 25,000

That comes out to an average of about 275 guests a week, which is less than half of what we would have needed for the business to break even.

I just put the website into permanent cryosleep. I've never had to do that with a web site before.

It's strange to think that if there's any lasting legacy at all to the work we put in there over the last two years, it might be only the few weeks of research that I spent building the calendar and flyer archive of the Covered Wagon Saloon days.

We are packing up and moving out on Monday and Tuesday. This means that DNA Pizza on Eleventh Street will be closed on Tuesday, since we're moving the (newer, better) pizza oven from Codeword over to the Eleventh Street location, and that's a pretty time consuming process, including needing to give the old oven six hours to cool down first.

In all this time, only one person that I know of discovered the hidden meaning of the Codeword logo, and I gave him a big hint first. I guess I'll just leave it like that. No spoilers.

Anyway, once more into the breach. Long Live DNA Lounge.

11-Jul-2017 (Tue)
Wherein it's Robot Time!

The Fourth Annual Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge is coming up this Sunday, July 16! Come for the Mad Science, stay for the cocktails! Or maybe the other way around! I don't even know! This is one of my favorite events that we do all year. You must come.

On the agenda so far:

  • Beerbot: It follows...
  • Chassis: Shiny and mobile!
  • Schrödinger's Martini: A superposition of wet and dry!
  • N. E. BREE-8: Three Laws Compliant!
  • Steve the Bartending Robot
  • TikiTron: Prepare your sacrifice!
  • Tipsy Train: LEGO of your inhibitions!
  • Whiskeyball: The excitement of Skee-Ball and cocktails!

Not all of them have sexy glamour shots, but here are a few:


Also! if you are planning to come to the FM-84 & The Midnight show this Friday, you should buy tickets now, because it is definitely going to sell out. Hooray!

Our Hotline party tomorrow got a very nice write-up in 48 Hills, so you should take their word for it and come out! The last one was really fun.

So it's a big, bright deal when representatives of 10 of our biggest indie dance parties -- Popscene, Club Leisure, Fringe, The Queen is Dead, Harder Better Faster Stronger, Last Nite, Club Gossip, Boy Division, Turbo Drive, and Indie Cent DJ -- come together for a huge quarterly blowout called Hotline.

The first installment, back in March, more than fulfilled the dreams of anyone wishing to wig out to Grimes and Morrissey back-to-back. But the ongoing impetus of the party is a deep, community-minded mission to help save a classic part of SF nightlife.

"The idea for Hotline has been years in the making, but was really kicked into action when news that one of San Francisco's most beloved alternative dance clubs, DNA Lounge, might be in jeopardy of closing," DJ Blondie K, aka Kristin Graff, of the lovely Fringe party at Madrone Art Bar told me.

"There is a cult-like following for the small, neighborhood indie dance parties, and as fans of the music, DJs in this space are often supporting each other's events. I think we were all curious if we could join forces, combine our individual communities, and give them a large-scale night club experience celebrating the music we all love," Blondie K continued. "At the same time, we wanted to bring some attention and financial support to DNA Lounge.

Hopefully deliveries will be up and running again late next week. Initially we will be using Grubhub for deliveries (it turns out that they now do deliveries as well as ordering, which we didn't realize.) We are looking in to ways to supplement that with other delivery mechanisms as well, though, because they stop delivering at 11pm. As one of the tiny minority of 24 hour restaurants in San Francisco, we did a big chunk of our delivery business between midnight and 3am, and we'd sure like to continue doing that.

Here's a sad moment. We go through a huge number of paper tickets in this business, so we order them in large quantities, and well in advance. Well, last week it was finally time to crack open the new box of drink tickets...

And they are the new design, which includes the Codeword logo.

Sigh.

So we're going to be staring at that and being sad for the next year or so.

As for Codeword, we're still going through the depressing process of working out how to shut things down in an orderly manner, working out what equipment we want to bring over to DNA, what is sellable, etc. One of the things we definitely want to do is bring the (newer, better) pizza oven from CW to DNA. This is very involved, because pizza stones are notoriously fragile; the oven won't fit around the bar so it either has to go over it, or through the front window; and I don't yet have a straight answer on who's going to be responsible for disconnecting and reconnecting the gas without blowing up the building. So, it's a work in progress.

The most valuable thing over there is the liquor license, which we are allegedly in the process of selling, though there hasn't been any visible motion on that yet. The damned things are worth in the neighborhood of a quarter million dollars, and demand is high, but it takes months to complete the sale. And we've sure got some stuff we could spend that money on right now, let me tell you.

Some photos from recent shows... You may notice that this is not many galleries for the past month. That's because we're again having trouble getting reliable photographers. If that's you, drop us a note.

Rave to the Grave
Xandria
Candlemass
Days and Daze
Hubba Hubba

We find ourselves in an unfortunate position of no longer being able to do deliveries of DNA Pizza, because Uber is flexing their monopolistic muscle in an attempt to take over an unrelated industry!

First some background:

Since we opened DNA Pizza in 2009, we've done online ordering through all of the popular online ordering sites: Eat24, Grubhub, whatever. A new service would pop up and say, "We offer exactly the same features in as every other site that does this, you should list your menu here!" and we'd say, "Ok, why not".

Sometimes people go to dnapizza.com looking for a way to order from us, but often people go to whatever ordering site they used last, and type in "pizza", so it behooves us to be listed on as many as possible.

These sites gather the order, charge the credit card, take a percentage, send the order along to us, and then we deliver it.

(And one of the nice things that Eat24 did, and none of the others do, is if the referrer on the click came from our site, they didn't take a cut -- because in that case, it's clear that we drove the traffic to that order rather than them. That was cool of them.)

For actual delivery, in the early days, we hired our own delivery drivers. This is a huge pain for a few reasons:

  • Finding reliable restaurant employees is hard enough, but now we need to find ones who also have a car.
  • If their job is "delivery driver only", you're paying them an hourly wage to sit around doing nothing during all the time when no deliveries are happening.

  • So you try to double them up, and put them to work as regular restaurant staff when they're not out delivering. This is the worst of both worlds, though, because if you think it through there are only two possible scenarios there. Let's say you feel the restaurant needs 3 staff to work properly, and now you add 1 driver. So now either:

    • You have no deliveries, and you're overstaffed, because you have 4 when you needed 3;

    • Or, those 4 staff are actually all busy, meaning you really did need 4, so whoops, now you're understaffed by one driver. (These will both happen within the same shift, and you never hit the sweet spot where you are staffed properly.)

  • And the nature of the business is that all of the delivery orders come in at the same time, right at 7pm or right at 2:15am. So for most of the day you need one driver, if that, except that for sixty crucial minutes you need twelve drivers.

Then we started using Uber:

We hired in-house drivers from 2009 until early 2014 when we transitioned over to using Uber as our delivery service. It works how you think: You tell them you have a pick-up, and they come and get it.

It worked as badly as you think, too. Because Uber has thousands of drivers, and terrible employee retention, just about every time you called one, you got someone who had only been on the job for a week and had literally never driven in San Francisco before. Customer satisfaction was, shall we say, not great. Now, to be clear, when we had in-house drivers, they were pretty terrible at their jobs too. But Uber was largely worse. At least, though, they gave us some cover, because when we apologized to the customer that the driver hadn't bothered ringing the bell, or had carried the pizza box sideways, we got to blame it on Uber, and bond with the customer over, "Fucking Uber, man."

I absolutely despise Uber as a company. They make San Francisco worse in every way. But I didn't have a better option, so I held my nose and worked with them anyway. (Foreshadowing!)

We looked around for other delivery services that a restaurant could use to outsource their deliveries, and there were only a few, but every one of them used Uber as their back-end anyway! So by using them you were just giving some other middleman an extra cut.

And here's what happened last week:

Uber just sprung on us that they are no longer offering the service of "deliveries". Now they offer the service of "integrated orders and deliveries". And only that.

That's right: if you want Uber to deliver your food, you also have to let them have your online ordering business.

And they gave us a luxurious six week deadline on this.

So Uber managed to get a monopoly in one industry -- restaurant food delivery -- and is leveraging that monopoly to eliminate the competition in a completely different industry -- online food ordering.

If that sounds familiar to you, you might have been following my work for a really long time, because that is exactly the same play that a company called Microsoft made on a company called Netscape back in 1995. They used their monopoly in one market -- operating systems -- to make competition with them impossible in a different market -- web browsers.

Microsoft did that by undercutting the competition and driving the market value of web browsers to $0. What Uber is doing is saying "your orders are no longer compatible with our cars", which isn't exactly what Microsoft did; that would have been more like if Microsoft had said, "No web browser except Explorer is allowed to be run on Windows". But the end result is the same.

In 1999, The Department of Justice found Microsoft guilty, but by then it was far too late: they had already delivered a fatal blow to the company I helped create, Netscape. (And that's why to this day I will never use any Microsoft products, or allow my business to enrich them in any way. I hold a grudge. Dear reader, don't use Microsoft products. Fuck those guys.)

In case you have been living under a rock and only have this sort of vague idea of why Uber is literally the worst company ever, I posted a round-up on my personal blog three months ago. But keep in mind, that's three months old, so lots more egregious shit has come out about them since. Like, just about every damned day. They are just a monster factory.

If you still have the Uber app on your phone, that is bad and you should feel bad. They really are the worst.

And yeah, it is not lost on me that I also allowed myself to be talked into making a deal with this devil and am now getting fucked by it. Think of it less as "hypocrisy" and more as "an object lesson".

(Lyft, by the way, is Uber Lite, and they only look better in comparison because they are less successful, so don't think that lets you off the hook in your complicity. Use Muni, BART, real cabs or a bike.)

Anyway, if you've got any realistic suggestions of how we can get our damned pizzas delivered, that would be great.

That's all horrible, but maybe mixtape 184 will help:


I'm sorry to report that, three years after the beginning of this project, and after nearly two years of operation, we are shutting Codeword down. Stick a fork in it, it's done.

To be clear, Codeword is closing, DNA Lounge is not.

So please watch it with those misleading headlines, ok?

Codeword's attached restaurant, the Fifth and Folsom location of DNA Pizza, will also be closing. However, both DNA Lounge and the Eleventh Street location of DNA Pizza remain open.

We have had some really fun events at Codeword, and worked with some great artists and promoters. But even though many of the parties were fun, very few of them made enough money to cover our rent, and those that did were few and far between.

So to all of the artists and promoters who made a go of it there, thank you for all your hard work, and I'm sorry we couldn't figure out how to make the venue succeed.

And to our staff, I'm sorry to have put you all through this. Especially to the restaurant staff, who spent less of their time serving food than they did fighting with angry schizophrenics, trying to keep heroin addicts from using our restrooms as their shooting gallery, mopping the lake of trash and human shit off of the sidewalk, and arguing with whichever meth dealer du jour had decided to do business out of the hotel upstairs. We literally do not pay them enough to put up with the kind of nonsense that came their way every night.

Our landlord has been remarkably understanding and generous during this process. He recently gave us a substantial rent reduction, but even that wasn't enough. We spent more than eight months trying to find someone willing to buy the business and take over our lease, but nobody would take the bait. Our landlord would be totally within his rights to demand our monthly rent until the end of our lease, quite a few years in the future, but we've negotiated an exit: he's letting us out of the lease. That leaves him with an empty building, awaiting the next person to come along, so letting us walk away is pretty huge.

The Fallacy of Sunk Cost is a monster. It's very difficult not to view situations like this with the framing of: "We have invested so much, and if we stop now, we are wasting that money". But the reality is, that money has been spent. It is already gone. The remaining decision is only whether continuing down this path, or down another, has better future potential.

Does the facility we have on hand have a strong enough economic potential that it is better to devote even more resources to it? Or would those same resources be better spent at DNA Lounge?

And those resources are not exclusively financial. It's hard to quantify the brain drain in financial terms. Every hour that I and my managers spend trying to figure out how to improve Codeword is an hour that is not being spent thinking about how to improve DNA, where the potential benefits could be much larger.

There are many theories about what went wrong. I have a few, maybe you have some of your own. One perennial favorite is that the interminable construction project next door made our side of the street invisible, unwalkable and filthy.

There are some arguments for being optimistic about the location, so here are some of the difficult debates we've had with ourselves about why not to close:

The sidewalk is open again, and that has made a great visual improvement. The construction is almost finished, and the condo building next door will soon be full of hundreds of new potential pizza customers. The construction on Moscone will be finished in a year or two, bringing more conference tourism to the neighborhood. So, maybe in a couple of years, this will be a great spot for a restaurant and bar.

But that's a lot of rent to pay in the mean time, waiting for a potential coming Golden Age of Fifth and Folsom.

In the shorter term, with the sidewalk being open, maybe now is the right time to try again to be open for lunch. To do that right, it would be sensible to improve our signage and do a big advertising push, and give it at least a couple of months before deciding whether it's working. Not the cheapest experiment. And far from a sure thing.

We actually just booked a couple of recurring parties that have been doing pretty well. If those parties continue to do as well as they have, and continue to do that well even during the coming slow winter months, then we might be jussssst breaking even.

That is a lot of "ifs", though; and a lot of effort just to claw back up to zero.

So it's my judgment that we are better off cutting our losses and retreating back to the Eleventh Street compound.

As I explained in December, things were looking up at DNA Lounge back in 2014. We were turning business away: we had more people wanting to throw parties than we had nights available, and we were having trouble keeping up with our pizza orders on weekend nights. Opening Codeword to expand our business seemed like a sensible, profitable idea at the time. And it might have turned out to be, had the demand for events stayed that high, or if that corner of the neighborhood wasn't a nightmare. And even with that, it might not have been a fatal disaster if, over those intervening years, Bootie's attendance numbers hadn't gone into free-fall. But it didn't, it was, and they did.

So, while extricating ourselves from the Codeword albatross will certainly help, please don't labor under the illusion that this fixes all of DNA Lounge's problems. It helps, absolutely. But overall, we're still pretty fucked. Getting rid of Codeword staunches the flow, but we're still bleeding out, every damned day.

So, RIP Codeword, but if you want DNA Lounge to continue to exist, please keep contributing to our Patreon, and keep showing up to our events!

In summary: I think we built a pretty nice little club at Codeword. It's too bad that not enough other people agreed.

Thank you all for your support, and I'm sorry.

Last week we won both "Best Dance Club" and "Best Live Music Venue" in SF Weekly's Best of SF. Go team!

It's time to reupholster some of our benches again. Judging by the life expectancy of our benches, it seems like the majority of our customers have razors and fish-hooks attached to their back pockets. Fixing them is always stupidly expensive, both in parts and labor. If you are good at upholstery and would like to volunteer some time in exchange for tickets and drinks, please let us know!

Also, if any of you come across a cheap source of marine vinyl with thick black and white stripes (6" to 30" stripes, let's say) let me know... The Dazzle Room benches also need some work, and stripes would be awesome. But not so awesome that I want to spend a fortune having someone stitch those stripes together by hand... But that is probably the only option, which means, "upon further consideration, black sounds like a perfect color for those benches".

Photos are up of the Amanda Palmer show! And there's a very nice review of it in The Bay Bridged. It was great show!

Since we didn't have anything in Above DNA that night, we opened Above a couple hours early so that people who arrived super early could get out of the sun and have a drink before doors. I thought this would be "people standing around in a room listening to a DJ" but apparently what they were all actually interested in was "standing in line so they could be the first to rush the front of the stage".

There were a lot of people who bought tickets for this show and didn't show up, like, more than 100, I think. There are always some, but that's a way higher ratio than usual. It's too bad we had no way of knowing whether those people were just going to show up late, because there were a lot of people outside who would have liked tickets if we knew we had room.

We printed up some of these fabulous R.Black posters, so we still have some left over. Go get 'em! $10 each. We printed up 100 of them but only sold like 40 at the show, which just goes to show, nobody buys posters. People are forever telling me "You should totally sell that ___ poster!" and then they just don't ever sell.

We've got a steampunk party tonight, so you can party like it's 2005 -- I expect it to be exactly like that Key & Peele skit, which does not appear to be on the youtubes. But the DJ booth contraption this guy is bringing does look pretty entertaining. He very much "put a gear on it".

And as usual, here are some photos of other recent events --

After Romeo
Hubba Hubba Undersea
Affiance
Hoodslam
Amanda Palmer
I live in continuing amazement that the "boy band" formula is still being followed to exactly the same specification as it was in 1983. Is there an ISO specification for this? One of these days I really want to get a look at the breeding vats underneath EPCOT. Decant me another matched set of pseudo-soul crooners!

And please enjoy mixtape 183: nothing but boy bands, I swear.


Just about a year after we were forced to take it out, the parklet is back! We re-installed it today. And there was much rejoicing.

This is what the parklet looked like sitting on the shelf in our baker's warehouse for the last year.
There's a little more work to do. It's not as stable as I would like, but we will be reinforcing it in the next few days. So no moshing in the parklet until then, ok?

This work was made possible by the contribution of an extremely generous donor who wrote me last week and said, "The comments on your blog post don't really scream, 'I wanna buy you a parklet'. Can I join in that solo and ask 'Can I buy you a parklet?'

Which was kind of amazing!

I hadn't really reached out asking for donations specifically for the parklet, because I wasn't sure it was our highest priority, but when someone says "here's some money, spend it on the parklet", I say "Ok!"

We've also ordered some new stools for it. They should be here in a week or two.

Now we have to figure out if SFMTA is going to reinstall our bike racks, or if we're doing that ourselves...


Some entertaining things are coming up in the next few weeks!

This Friday, it's Hubba Hubba Under The Sea, which sounds like it's going to be a good one. (Do you want mermaids? Because this is how you get mermaids.) I used this party as an excuse to buy a diving helmet. It's pretty great.

Sunday afternoon: Manly Men doing Manly Things. The wrestling ring is back, this time for Hoodslam! It's Mother's Day, bring mom, have a Bloody Mary.

Next Friday we have So Stoked: Rave to the Grave, with DJs Darude (yes, the "Sandstorm" guy) and Ronan Harris (yes, the VNV Nation guy) and Death Guild DJs in the lounge. This is going to be hilarious! I am actually shocked that the DG folks agreed to this. Shocked.

I mean, I've pretty much made a career out of mocking VNV Nation and all the laptop-jockey "bands" who sound exactly like them -- the goffs seem to think they are "industrial" when what they actually are is a progressive house DJ featuring MC Monotone -- but this is perfect. Sandstorm!

Then on Tue, May 23 we've got Amanda Palmer & Edward Ka-Spel! But you can't go, because it's sold out. It sold out in 3 or 4 days, and for weeks we have been trying to get a second show added, but the bureaucracy standing between us and being able to actually have that conversation with the artists has been unbelievable. So at this point, a second show is probably unlikely, even though it would obviously do very well for everyone involved. Oh well.

Then on Fri, June 2 it's the Turbo Drive 4th Anniversary and before the party, we're going to do a screening of the movie Turbo Kid at 8pm, Cyberdelia-style. So get your seated tickets now, they will sell out. Oh, and the reason we're showing Turbo Kid is that the headliner is Le Matos, the band who did the soundtrack. (Also the movie is great, you should see it.)

Some recent photo galleries... that somehow, are all Bootie. Even though we have had a lot of events recently that were not Bootie.

This tells me that we need more photographers. Is that you?

April Fools
Bunny Bash
Not "Bootchella", because those jerks sent a C&D
Aprilween
#Resist
And please enjoy jwz mixtape 182.