21-Oct-2016 (Fri)
Wherein a winnar is us.

Hey, we won some Best of the Bay stuff! Yay us! And thank you for saying "Yay, us!"

    Best Overall Nightlife Venue: DNA Lounge
    Best Overall Dance Party: Bootie SF
    Best Burlesque: Hubba Hubba Revue

Incident Report of the Week:

Apparently the bassist strangled another band member while on stage during their set. It being a metal show, no one was sure if it was part of the act or not. [...] At 8:20pm, the police arrived. [...] He was arrested, and is being booked on criminal battery and threats. [...] About 8:35 the police left with the perp in custody. The show carries on.

Some upcoming events of note:

Meat Beat Manifesto:
Halloween, Part 1:
All Hallow's Eve
Halloween, Part 2:
Halloween, Part 3:
Death Guild

Tonight, we have Meat Beat Manifesto, a show I am really looking forward to because I haven't seen them in at least a decade. Storm the Studio and 99% kind of blew my mind when I was a kid.

Next weekend, of course, is the thing that DNA Lounge does best: Halloween. We've got three parties for you this time, and they are each in all four rooms.

Now everyone knows that parents always have a favorite child (even if you were an only child, Mom probably loved someone else more, you know it's true) so it's no secret that our Friday party, All Hallow's Eve, is my favorite. That's the one with the excellent costume contest, where the winners are generally deserving! If you have more than one costume (duh, of course you do, you live in San Francisco), this is the night for you to bring your A Game.

But don't get me wrong, the other two are excellent parties in their own right. Mom and Dad love both of you just as much, I totally swear. Booootie: At our very own party juggernaut, this is definitely their best party of the year, and you're probably never going to see a bigger Halloween party unless you're in a stadium or out in a field somewhere, and who needs that? It's not to be missed.

And Death Guild? Well there is literally nothing in the world more goth than a 23½ year old goth party happening on Halloween proper. Plus goth burlesque upstairs from The Hubbs, of course, helping you get your swoopy on.

Remember kids, it's a marathon, not a sprint.

Friday and Saturday are likely to sell out, so advance tickets are highly recommended.

By the way, we haven't decided yet if we're going to print up a stack of those lovely Gene Wilder / Dr. Fronkensteen posters (RIP) by R.Black. We usually print up a stack of the Halloween posters, but honestly, they don't sell. Would you buy one for ten bucks? Be honest: if what you really mean is, "I would totally take one of those home if someone gave it to me for free", that is actually a "no".

Ok, first I think you need to watch this excellent documentary about every sound guy ever (except for ours, of course), from The Hard Times, whom you might remember as the folks who brought you "Henry Rollins Driving App Tells You How Hard It Would Have Been to Get There in the '80s":

Next, here's an unexpected headline:

San Francisco To Get First New Liquor Licenses Issued By State In 77 Years:

But it means a lot less once you read the details:

Thanks to a bill sponsored by state senator Mark Leno, San Francisco is about to get its first new liquor licenses in almost 80 years -- but only five of them. They're earmarked for new or existing restaurants on one of seven commercial corridors where there tend not to be any restaurants with general on-sale or "full" liquor licenses, with the idea being that businesses in these areas can't afford to buy licenses on the secondary market, as they're usually sold, these days averaging around $300,000 in SF.

The eligible neighborhoods are Third Street in the Bayview, outer Mission Street in the Excelsior, San Bruno Avenue, Ocean Avenue, Noriega Street, Taraval Street and Visitacion Valley. The licenses will be available directly from ABC for an application fee of $13,800 and will be non-transferable. [...]

The weirdness and seeming scarcity around liquor licenses here dates back to a state law passed in 1939 that declared that cities could only have one general on-sale license for every 2,000 residents. That would have limited SF to only 418 licenses at our current population, but at the time the law was passed there were already around 1,000 licenses issued here, which were all grandfathered in and transferrable. Those same licenses are the ones that continue to be bought and sold on the secondary market, and their value has risen greatly driven by our local restaurant economy in neighborhoods like the Mission, Hayes Valley and the Financial District. But $300,000 is a steep price for a mom-and-pop business in one of these more "outer" neighborhoods, a problem that the new licenses hope to solve.

Only five though? Van Houten says they asked for 28, but for now, we have to settle for five.

So yeah. Five, and they're in the Inner Farallons and Almost-Colma.

We had several truly excellent shows in the last few weeks, and hey, here are some photos of them:

Revolting Cocks
Carpenter Brut
Shonen Knife

Tsunami Bomb
Turbo Drive
Revolting Cocks were fantastic. It's always great to have Chris Connelly back here, as I really miss Pigface (the world's last industrial band). Carpenter Brut were also really fun: much more of a live band than I expected, given their primarily electronic sound. Though they get categorized as a "retrowave" band, apparently they are somewhat popular in the metal scene, which makes more sense to me having seen them, because they reminded me of Goblin (the band who scored Dario Argento's movies in the 70s). Shonen Knife also rocked. Their drummer seems physically incapable of not having a giddy smile, and they are just so damned perky it's contagious. And the Turbo Drive party with Beautiful Machines, Night Club and Vice Reine was also great. It hit the proper balance of "live show" and "dance party".

They were also reasonably well attended. I mean, not great, but enough that the room didn't feel empty and we didn't take a bath on them. As you know, the rule of thumb is generally "if it's a show jwz is looking forward to, nobody's going to show." You don't want me as a fan, I'm apparently the kiss of death.

So yay, go team!

Some upcoming shows that I strongly recommend: This Friday, Hubba are bringing the Dungeons & Dragons sleaze. Then next Friday, Meat Beat Manifesto! It's been like a thousand years since I've seen them. And of course in two weeks, on Friday Oct 28, our fifteenth annual Halloween party. R. Black did another fantastic job on that poster, did he not? You're definitely going to want to buy advance tickets for Halloween. (Oh yeah, and then we also have a little Halloween party on Saturday, and a little Halloween party on Monday too, NBD.)

Have you received the memo about ROT13, our new happy hour over at Codeword? It happens every Monday through Friday from 4pm to 9pm or so. It's being run by Jared, who you might remember as the bartender under the stairs who specializes in the fancier and more interesting cocktails. There are also some pretty tasty appetizers that aren't on the usual DNA Pizza menu. Come check it out.

You can also look at the pretty @rot13sf pictures on the Facebooks, Instagrams and Twits.

"Hey, how's that parklet going?" you didn't ask. Well I'll tell you. Since we were required to remove the parklet in mid June because the construction in front of our door was definitely happening by the end of June, what have they accomplished? Well, they dug up the corner of the sidewalk on the Southeast corner of Folsom and Harrison -- across the street from us, by Costco -- and replaced it with a new corner that is identical the old one in every way except that it has those yellow dots on it now.

This is apparently a two week process, because they pour like five different kinds of concrete to accomplish this, and let them dry between each layer.

So now they're doing that again... on the Southwest corner. Even farther away from us.

It's amazing that anything ever gets built at all.

I'm told they also spent a while digging up the middle of the street on the other side of Harrison from us, because after they began construction they "discovered" that this neighborhood is built on sand and it needed to be reinforced. What an amazing discovery! Who knew! Except everybody.

This is why you had nowhere to sit outside for just about the entire summer. Thanks again, SFMTA and SFDPW. You're doing a bang-up job on this whole "scheduling" thing.

Have plans for this evening?

Might I recommend that you come out to Turbo Drive tonight, in the main room, with Beautiful Machines, Night Club and Vicereine. It will be a good show.

Hey, photos:

Bootie: 13th Anniversary
Pinkish Black
3 Teeth
Assemblage 23
Hubba Hubba: 10th Anniversary

Delorean Overdrive
Bootie: Pizza Party
Art Of Dying
And it's been a while since I posted here, so you have two! two! two! fine mixtapes to enjoy.

Just imagine this, but with Don't Stop Believin' playing as well:

It seems that the SF Bay Guardian Best of the Bay contest is back, and is apparently run by 48 Hills now? Ok. How about you go vote for us? We are insecure people and need the validation. So many categories! Might we recommend:

  • Best Late Night Restaurant: DNA Pizza
  • Best Pizza: DNA Pizza
  • Best Sandwiches: DNA Pizza
  • Best Cafe: DNA Pizza
  • Best Overall Bar: DNA Lounge
  • Best New Bar: Codeword
  • Best Bar Staff: DNA Lounge
  • Best Performance Space: DNA Lounge
  • Best Overall Live Music Venue: DNA Lounge
  • Best Overall Nightlife Venue: DNA Lounge
  • Best Overall Dance Party: Bootie SF
  • Best Rock Club: DNA Lounge
  • Best Trivia Night: Big Quiz Thing @ Codeword
  • Best Burlesque: Hubba Hubba Revue
  • Best Literary Night: Odd Salon

Also here are some photos and your monthly mixtape:

Bootie: D's Birthday
God Module
Bootside Lands
Monday Hubba

Freq Fest SF
Hubba Hubba Apocalypse
Freq Fest SF
Bootie: Britney vs. Taylor
Get Dead

The new drum of Spill Magic has arrived, so you may now vomit with impunity. During the unfortunate period when we had run out, we asked you to kindly refrain from vomiting on our floor, and I know that was a terrible hardship to most of you, but those dark days are now behind us. Carry on.

Oh hey, how's that construction going, that required our parklet to be removed more than two months ago? Well, I think they spray-painted a couple of lines on the sidewalk at the opposite end of the block a couple of weeks ago. Other than that, nothing.

Why hasn't anything happened? They don't answer. When is work starting? They don't answer. What will that work be? They don't answer.

SFMTA and SFDPW, you are bad at your jobs and you should feel bad. A pox on both your houses.

I really want to just re-install our parklet and see how long it takes them to notice, but I don't have the money to burn on art projects like that any more. However, if anyone out there happens to have a few wooden shipping palettes and a ratty couch or two, we can replace it with the jankiest possible substitute. Call me. Let's make this happen.

The video of the 2016 Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge is finally finished!

Also this month's mixtape:

At Bootie on Saturday, we threw out not one but two guys for pissing in trash cans. Any time I find myself saying something like this, someone will disbelievingly say, "Are you kidding me? Some guys just whip it out in the middle of a crowded room and piss in a trash can?"

Yes. Yes they do.

Maybe they get confused and think they're already home and pissing in the refrigerator.

How about a recap of DNA Lounge's Greatest Hits of Pissing:

(And that's not all of them, by a long shot. E.g., I notice now that I never wrote anything about that time that REDACTED, one of our promoters, pissed in a VIP booth during his own event.)

I haven't yet gotten a report on the piss status of our Dore Alley Street Fair party on Sunday, but, this happened, sooooo...

Hey, remember when we used to have a parklet?

It has now been 40 days since SFMTA forced us to remove our parklet. It has now been 28 days since the date that they swore up and down construction was to begin, and so it was absolutely critical that we remove our parklet two weeks before that. Last week they told us that their "unexpected delays" had been overcome, and construction was really, really for sure this time starting on our block on Aug 1.

Here's a photo of the construction that started today:


Ha ha ha, I'm kidding, of course it didn't.

Oh, in other great news, our friends at ABC have come sniffing around again. They actually arrested some girl outside of So Stoked a couple of weeks ago, for having a flask of liquor outside. Cuffed her and took her away. Charming.

I do not have time for this shit.

Some recent photo galleries. I've also set things up so that a few random-ish thumbnails get posted to our Twitter / Facebook / Instagram when a new gallery is added. Sometimes that doesn't work out so well, since all of these services have decided that pictures should be square for some reason, which looks terrible if the photographer did not agree.

So Stoked: Imagine II
So Stoked: For Pride
Bootie: Beach Party
Soft Kill + Cruel Summer
Bootie Classics

So Stoked: #50
Bootie: Classy vs. Trashy

Vektor vs. Pixel
Odd Salon: Artifact

It is now four weeks since we were forced to destroy our parklet, and two weeks since construction was supposed to have begun, and guess what? Our sidewalk is still completely intact and unaltered.

The last reply we got from them was this hilarity, a week ago:

There have been two unexpected events that have come up at 11th and Harrison. One is a the identification of additional underground utilities when PG&E came out and the other is a permitting issue. Public Works engineering is quickly redesigning around the utility and we are working on the permitting issue.

So this means they scheduled their PG&E inspection for the day construction was to begin, or later, because if they had done that inspection earlier, they would have pushed the start date back and our parklet wouldn't be gone yet.

It also means that DPW doesn't have accurate maps of the gas lines, which is kind of amazing and also kind of scary.

Also, "permitting issue"? Are you kidding me? You are the ones who issue the permits!! Circular firing squad in full effect.

But one thing has happened: the bus shelter down at the corner has been removed. But wait, you say, I thought the bus shelter was going to stay where it is? Yeah, me too. So now I'm worried that they've changed their minds are are going to want to dump it in front of our door, like in their initial design. We can't get an answer to that question either. Any time we reply to the dozen-recipient thread about this project, we get nothing but vacation auto-replies from half of them.


The Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge was a lot of fun, and the robots were awesome, but it was pretty under-attended. I hope those of you who came enjoyed it, because we lost over $3,000 putting that show on. Hooray.

Some photos, and this month's mixtape:

Bootie: Madonna vs. Gaga
Bootie: America Fuck Yeah!
Hubba Hubba: Summer Camp

Hey, Pac-Man is back, finally! My friend did a great job of refurbishing it. He fixed a bunch of things I didn't even notice were broken, so the display is a lot sharper now, too.

Bring quarters.

So, we have this giant CO2 tank in the back that drives our bars, and there's a hose going from that tank to the street, so they can charge it up from the truck directly instead of needing to come into the building and swap tanks. Fun fact, in the 15 years we've been here, I've never seen them charge it up, until today:

It made a ridiculously loud noise and expelled a gigantic 20-second-long plume every time he hooked or unhooked something. Seriously, it looked like one of those vaping douchebags who seem to think that the point of smoking is to be as performative about it as possible. It made me ask myself, "Is it supposed to do that?" I'm going to go with, "It is absolutely not supposed to do that. But that's the way this guy has always done it." (You know espresso machines don't have to make that loud screeching noise either, right? If they're doing that, they're doing it wrong.)

Oh, by the way, that fourth picture is a picture of all of the sidewalk construction that was scheduled to begin this week. Look at all that construction that is not happening where our parklet is not.

Do you have your tickets yet for the Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge this Sunday? I'm guessing you do not. You should fix that. It is one of my favorite events of the year, so don't miss it.