Jared and Lisa have put together some pre-made cocktails in mason jars! Roughly three servings per jar, well, depending on how you drink. Currently on the menu are:

  • A Black Manhattan, using Slow and Low honey and orange infused rye, with a little Fernet to balance the sweetness.
  • A classic Sazerac (my personal favorite!)
  • A brown sugar margarita with a little orange in it.
  • A lavender lemonade gin cooler.

Get 'em now on Postmates, Grubhub, DoorDash or Allset. And you can still get our DNA Lounge brand bottles of vodka, rum and gin, as well.

Also we have some more party-in-place webcast-only online events coming up!

  • Tomorrow, Fri, Mar 27: GGP Virtual Charity Party:

    A live-stream of DJs from GGP, the Gay Gaming Professionals party that, along with the Game Developer's Conference, was our first cancellation during this outbreak. They've also got some VR thing going on...

  • Sat, Mar 28: Turbo Drive:

    Devon, Danny Delorean and Meikee Magnetic will be spinning the finest in synthwave for you, live from the neon-styled DNA main stage.

  • Mon, Mar 30: Death Guild:

    Goth-in-place with live DJ sets from Decay, Bit, and the usual suspects. Don't forget to harass them on the Snark-a-Tron.

  • Next Fri, Apr 3: Hubba Hubba Revue presents Burlesquerpiece Theatre:

    A look back at some of the best Hubba Hubba Revue acts from the last few years. Sit by the fire, pour yourself a brandy, and take a sexy trip down memory lane with your host, Alistair Kingfish.

21-Mar-2020 (Sat)
Wherein Slim's is closing.

Well, Golden Voice has taken Slim's out back and shot it in the head. The Chronicle reports:

Slim's staff was informed on Wednesday that the 11th Street nightclub will close permanently after more than 30 years. The decision had been made late last year, long before the coronavirus pandemic forced its immediate shutdown, Scaggs told The Chronicle [...]

Scaggs, Caufield and Hellman operated the clubs and free festival for their love of music. They laughed about competitors who were in the business for the money. Slim's owners failed to take a dime of profit out of the clubs all these years. [...]

Caufield, an original investor in Silicon Valley startups from America Online to Google, loved owning the club. He would get behind the bar and pour free drinks. [...] "What were billionaires like Warren and Frank doing caring about some blues club? It was a gift they gave themselves."

That's a pretty gross framing there, "a gift they gave themselves." He's saying that it wasn't about building a place for artists to thrive, creating community, or about giving back to their community. No, it has to be about what they got out of it personally.

Let's be very clear about this: Slim's never made a dime. Its 30 year cultural legacy -- and an incredible legacy it was -- only got to happen because of the whims of billionaires. If you look at what they did through the myopic lens of calling it a "business" -- that is, a financial instrument where you put money in one end, turn the crank, and more money comes out the other end -- then you'd consider it a spectacular failure.

But that's not what we, who run nightclubs, do. We facilitate the creation of our culture: You push money in one side, turn the crank, and what comes out the other side is art and community and music and stories.

But not money. Never money.

So if Caufield is to be believed, it means that all this time, Slim's was two or three rich dudes throwing a party for themselves... "And, whatever, I guess all of you plebes can attend, until we get bored with it."

So here we are, and the Money Men who had been supporting Slim's for so many decades finally decided to stop doing so. Two years ago, they sold it off to multinational superpredator Golden Voice. And, surprise surpise, the new owners Gordon Gecko'ed that shit, because, if at any moment a thing is worth more money by cutting it up and selling it off for parts, that's what they'll do. Then they move on, and consume and destroy the next thing, and so on, and so on.

In the DNA Lounge version of this story, I've been funding this place for decades off my 90s Startup money, and that money is nearly gone, because I was never rich like those guys are.

DNA Lounge isn't some whim of a group of dilettante plutocrats. It's not some side-hobby I toy around with when I'm not private-jetting off to my fifth mansion or luxurious doomsday bunker or whatever. This is all I do. I didn't expect this to be my life's work, but it is, because I think it's important.

I hope you think it's important too, and want DNA Lounge, your community, and all our communities here, to continue to exist after this pandemic lockdown. Please share our donation links. Please donate or contribute to our Patreon. Without our communities becoming much more heavily involved, this could be the end of the DNA Lounge project.

The "two or three rich dudes" model is not sustainable, because two or three people, billionaires or not, are not a community.

And let me close by casting a particularly strong side-eye to those of you working in the tech industry. You're making a quarter million a year and thinking "Wellllll.... I do like that place. Maybe I'll kick in $10 a month..."

If you add a couple-or-three zeroes onto that, then your community, all our other communities, and DNA Lounge itself, might just make it through this pandemic.

In a truly shocking development, the ABC has temporarily loosened their rules on liquor delivery, so now we can deliver life-giving, sanity-preserving liquor to you at home! Not only can you order beer with your pizza delivery, but that means you can also order full bottles of our house brand DNA Lounge Vodka, DNA Lounge Gin and DNA Lounge Rum!

They are available right now on GrubHub, Doordash, and Postmates.

And because I know this is the first question I'm going to get: no, I have no idea how you can get one of these if you are outside of what the delivery services have decided is our delivery area. I can't even tell what that delivery area is, let alone how to change it. Likewise, I have no idea whether I'm allowed to just mail it. I assure you, when I know, you will know!

Also you can stop by in person and pick it up to-go from the window. Walk-up or call-in.

That aside, our experiment with keeping DNA Pizza open for deliveries has been going... not well. We had like two orders total yesterday.

Please order some pizza, or it's going to end up being cheaper for us to just be 100% closed.

It's good pizza you guys!

UPDATE! We now also deliver pre-mixed cocktails!

We didn't have time to get something printed, so check out my sweet freehand sign-painting skills, AKA, "don't quit your day job."

It's our biggest drink special ever. Sign. Our biggest drink special sign ever.

Anyway, the Mayor's lockdown directive said that it was ok for restaurants to stay open for deliveries, so we're giving that a try at DNA Pizza. The dining room is closed, but our delivery hours are now 4pm to 10pm every day. Find us on Postmates, Doordash and Grubhub.

As I've said before, historically our delivery business has been very light, so we're not sure whether this is really going to work out... but we're going to give it a try for a week and see how it goes. This the closest thing to income we have right now, and it lets us give our employees some much-needed shifts.

I figure after a couple of days of eating your prepper cans of Spaghetti-Os or whatever you're gonna need to get you some pizza, right?

So please, order from us!

Also, it would really help if you would leave some positive reviews for us on the delivery sites, since that impacts our position in their lists.

If you're reading this on Monday night, tune in to the webcast -- we are in the midst of a webcast-only DJ set for Death Guild's twenty-seventh anniversary. And we've turned the Snark-a-Tron back on so that you can request songs and harass the DJs: we haven't activated the Emergency Snark-a-Tron Network since back in the Liveournal days.

UPDATE! We now deliver liquor and pre-mixed cocktails!

Hey, remember January? That feels like it was about three years ago, right? Back in January I did a blog post about our year-plus effort, and failure, to find a way to give free flu shots to our customers at the club.

Well now, that sure seems extra topical these days, huh?


Is there a more tragic sight than a bar stripped of its liquor? It's like seeing a once-verdant hillside after a forest fire.

But at least we've got this. White gold, they call it. White gold.

12-Mar-2020 (Thu)
Wherein we're on lockdown.

Per recommendations of city and state authorities, all DNA Lounge events have been cancelled for at least the next three weeks. This is a huge disappointment to all of us but the health and safety of our community must take priority. We will be making announcements about rescheduled dates and/or ticket refunds as information becomes available.

Stay safe, and wash your damned hands!

Now would be a great time for you to contribute to our Patreon or make a one-time donation. Even though we're closed, meaning that we have lost 100% of our income, we still have a lot of expenses that are not going away: rent, insurance, taxes, permit fees... We're also still paying our employees while we're closed. Depending on how long this crisis lasts, this could end up leaving us on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Don't let DNA Lounge be one of the COVID-19 fatalities...

Honestly, I don't know how DNA Lounge is going to survive this. We've been barely hanging on by a thread, and this is really kicking us when we're down. The billion-dollar multinational corporations who have taken over the majority of San Francisco's live music venues have war chests to get them through stuff like this, but we sure don't.

UPDATE! I should mention that DNA Pizza is still open for the time being. I don't think we'll have any trouble keeping the restaurant below the recommended occupancy... And just a reminder that We deliver! Find us on Postmates, Doordash and Grubhub.

UPDATE UPDATE! DNA Pizza is now open for delivery only, but the good news is, we now deliver liquor and pre-mixed cocktails!

DNA Pizza is nine years old today! We opened on March 10th, 2011. Maybe you wanna buy some of our totally sweet DNA Pizza posters? (DNA Pizza, your Sexy Pizza Pioneer...)

We recently tweaked our pizza sauce recipe a bit. We think it's a lot better! Have you noticed?

Since many of you are holed up at home, now is a good time for me to remind you that we deliver! We're on most of the popular delivery sites, so pick your favorite: Postmates, Doordash, Grubhub, and probably some more that I don't remember.

Also, recall that we're one of the very few pizza places where you can get delivery late at night. You want a pizza at 3am, we're there for you. (Looking at you, stoners.)

We don't do nearly as much delivery business as we should. The reason is, unfortunately, a mystery to us. A pizza restaurant that doesn't have a lot of delivery business is some weird kind of anomaly, but hey, that's us.

You may recall that we used to do deliveries in-house: we even had our own car topper! But that was difficult for many reasons, so when the "gig economy" delivery services arrived, we started using those. In the early days it was possible to hire a service to just do deliveries: we would take the order, and they would deliver it.

Then one day Uber realized that they could make more money if they forbade us from doing that, and interjected themselves between us and our customers more completely by demanding that they take the order themselves, and keep a percentage of the food order instead of just the delivery fee. They sprung this on us literally overnight, and for months after that we weren't able to do deliveries at all. Shortly thereafter, every other delivery service also transformed into a "menu" site with mandatory ordering lock-in. And our delivery business has basically never recovered since then.

(So if you were looking for another reason to never do business with Uber...)

But back to Pizza.

Speaking of pizza, as I often do, allow me to recommend this web series, "Really, Dough?" where a couple of pizza nerds argue about what is and is not "pizza". When I sent this around to my staff someone said, "Of course you sit around watching pedantic videos about New York pizza. Of course you do."

Our webcast cameras are so infuriating and flaky. The thing that I have learned, after all these years, is that you must never, ever try to do an HDMI or SDI run longer than ten feet. Anyone who tells you that it's possible to do otherwise is a liar or a fool.

So I've got 16 SDI cameras and associated switching gear, and it's all useless. I think the only way to make this work is for the cameras to be IP-based. Such cameras are probably not too expensive these days, but "not too expensive" multiplied by "sixteen" still means "there is no way I can justify spending that much money on this".

Hey, you! The rich techie who reads this blog and rarely goes out! How about you donate a new system to us? I need 16 IP cameras plus whatever hardware/software combo is necessary to switch between them under scriptable control. (And probably 16 more Cat5 home-runs, which is like... half a mile of cable.) Eventually the video has to make its way into OBS.

I know a lot of you watch this dumb thing, from wherever you are out in the world. So which one of you is gonna step up?

16-Feb-2020 (Sun)

We finally got the Tempest machine up and running again! That took literally a year. Also we've printed some posters of the Cyberdelia flyer since that image is so '133t. They will be for sale at the party, or you can buy them online now. (Do you have your tickets yet? Reserved seating is nearly sold out!)

Also, enjoy some photo galleries.

Hubba Hubba Holiday
Beard & Mustache Championship
Bootie NYE
ICP Ball
Hubba Hubba: Murder Mansion
Monday Hubba

¿Qiensave? + Cuevo Pérez + Impractical
Sequence: Wobbleland Pre-Party
Eliminate + Carbin
Ritual SF: Antiserum & Gladkill
Mortiis + Tomb
Star Crash: Sophia Prise + Vice Reine + Host Bodies

We made a batch of limited edition DNA Lounge Thirty-Fifth Anniversary buttons! A bargainous 50¢ each -- get them while they last. Also available at coat check.