We had surprisingly little flooding during this month's climate apocalypse. Harrison near Division was underwater for a while, but it turns out that even though that's only a couple blocks away, we're several feet higher in elevation, so the water didn't crest the sidewalk on our block. We did have some inexplicable roof leaks, but nothing too severe.

At one point at the height of the storm, we had dirty water jet up out of the sink drains and water fountains! It did not seem to be sewage, so our best guess is that it was roof water that had nowhere else to go because the sewers were already at capacity.

Despite our worry, we were not burgled a third time on New Year's Day, probably because:

A suspect was arrested on New Year's Eve after running a red light near 4th and Townsend.

[He] was booked into county jail for nine counts of burglary, possession of burglary tools, possession of methamphetamine and possession of narcotics.

SFPD posted this fun photo of his burglary tools, in case you're looking for some tips.

Man arrested, accused of breaking into 10 SF stores:

The burglaries followed a similar pattern of the suspect forcing entry through the front of a business, causing damage. Once inside, the suspect stole cash from registers, safes or ATMs, and various other items from the stores.

Not their first rodeo: Matt and Kayla were also arrested in 2021:

Officers arrived on scene and located two suspects in the process of stealing two vehicles. [...] they fled into another stolen vehicle and drove in the officer's direction at a high rate of speed, causing him to dive out of the way to prevent from being struck. The suspects then fled on foot into a nearby cemetery. [...]

Both suspects [admitted] to numerous thefts throughout the Bay Area. Lake and Gutierrez were transported and booked into San Mateo County Jail on numerous charges.

I can't imagine a scenario where we get any of our money back, however. You will be shocked, shocked to learn that insurance is a scam.

Turns out our insurance policy basically doesn't cover cash. It doesn't matter what kind of paperwork we have documenting the amount of cash that was stolen, the policy caps that at $5k, minus a $1k deductible.

And regardless of whether the insurance company found some reason to deny the claim entirely -- which they almost certainly would -- the mere act of filing the claim would cause our rate to (purely coincidentally) go up by more than $4k per year.

"Nice policy you have there, shame if something were to happen to it."

And I'm gonna guess that bringing a civil suit against a meth-head is also not going to turn out to be an effective strategy.

I'll bet Louis Vuitton doesn't have these problems.

Donations appreciated!

We hope to see you at our New Year's Eve events: Tonight, Acid Rain, and tomorrow, Taylor Swift-themed NYE and BTS-themed NYE.

This is the time of year when I generally do a "What have we accomplished this year?" kind of post, and I'm not gonna lie, this was another year that was just depressing as hell. I don't think people really acknowledge the trauma that nearly everybody is suffering as a result of the last three years. All of your friends are damaged. I mean, even more than usual.

Like, we had a staff party a few weeks ago. It was lovely. But here's how a lot of the conversations went:

9pm to midnight: This is so fun! It's great to see you! Yay, let's drink and bullshit about music!

Midnight to 2am: Let me tell you about my debiliating PTSD from the last three years of COVID, poverty, and dead friends.

So let's recap, I guess?

February through April of this year saw our government and our industry unify behind the idea that the proper response to a vascular, neurological and immunocompromising pandemic was to just pretend that it's no longer happening, and not just eliminate but stigmatize even the most basic mitigation measures.

In August, we had the literal shitshow of a weeks-long plumbing disaster that left us with no toilets and required digging up the sidewalk.

In November, we had a weeks-long social media shitshow instigated by someone who repeatedly assaulted our staff and then loudly and enthusiastically lied about it.

And then a few weeks later, we were burgled, twice. It was very expensive. The suspects are still at large, because my first name's not Louis, my last name's not Vuitton, and when Mayor Breed (D-Coronavirus) talks about being tough on crime, what she means by "crime" is "visible homelessness".

Our attendance is back up to about 80% of what it was in 2019, which is... better than it could be, but still not great. We put on a bunch of great shows, we just need more people to come to them.

And this year we were again voted Best Nightclub, so thank you for that!

Sooooooo, another year above ground, right? Take the win, I guess.

Maybe 2023 will be better. Maybe you can help, by joining our team. We are in desperate need of both an experienced talent buyer and a bookkeeper. If you know anyone, send them our way!

Maybe come celebrate with a tasty beverage tonight at Death Guild or Monday Night Hubba?

Also, Abolish The ABC!

22-Nov-2022 (Tue) Wherein it's our birthday

Happy 37th birthday to DNA Lounge! The club opened on November 22, 1985.

We got an early birthday present: on Sunday morning, someone broke into the club and stole a whole entire ATM. They were interrupted by the arrival of our janitorial staff, but in the meantime they managed to fairly quickly trash the floor, angle-grinder away some bolts, and load it out.

As far as we can tell, they picked the lock on the door (maybe with a pick-gun or bump-key), since the door and lock were undamaged, but the cylinder was turning freely. Which is frustrating, because that's hard to defend against by just bolting some more steel plate to the door.

However, lest you get the wrong idea, this guy was no Moriarty. We've got lots of video of his face, and can clearly hear him talking on the phone to his getaway driver, Kayla, who was waiting out front in a black Mercedes. If you recognize this guy, both we and SFPD (case 220800244) would sure like to know:

Adding insult to injury, that particular ATM had been broken (and empty) for about a month. We only just got it repaired like three days before.

They also tried to break in to the scooter shop across the street, before paying us a visit.

Maybe now is a good time to remind you that we have a Patreon and a one-time donation page?

Also, today is the anniversary of the Max Headroom Broadcast Signal Intrusion Event, so here's wishing a happy Max Headroom Day to all who celebrate.

Let's steer this blog back to what really matters, looking at photos of yourselves. The galleries are now up from our big Halloween weekend!

And since Halloween is every day, our skeleton is now dressed as a turkey.

All Hallow's Eve
Bad Bunny Halloween
So Stoked: The Grim
Julien-K + Priest
Death Guild Halloween
And here are some more gallery hightlights from the last few months...

Button Masher
Just Add Heather
Front 242
Turbo Drive: Robert Parker
Turbo Drive: Com Truise
Little Miss Nasty

Broadway Bares
Holy Locust
Jungle Rot
Suffocation + Athiest

We now have video of the part that you haven't seen.

After having assaulted and injured two of our staff members, two of our security staff can be seen escorting the woman dressed as Raggedy Ann from the building in the video at 0:00:10 (upper left corner). You can then see her swinging at people unprovoked. By 0:00:55, security had gotten her outside and had disengaged.

Having been escorted down the street to the North, past the DNA property line, she turned around and marched back toward DNA Lounge yelling about how outraged she was over being removed. She walked directly up to Security_1, who was by this time standing at the Above DNA door, and attacked her a second time, this time clawing at her left eye just below the tear duct. Security_2 instinctively pushed back at this surprise attack.

The woman was wildly swinging at staff and other bystanders. Security_4 attempted to separate her from our staff. The woman walked away briefly, then came back and struck multiple staff members again.

You can see this in the video at 0:01:18, where she scuffles with someone, patrons and security intervene, then disengage. By 0:01:46, she appears to have calmed down, and at 0:02:13, she walks off camera (bottom right). At 0:02:41, she rushes back and slaps Security_2.

After the third time she walked away and returned to again choose violence, it was clear that de-escalation was not possible with this person, so Security_4 and Security_5 attempted to restrain her physically. She kicked Security_5 in the testicles, at which point the two of them took her to the ground and held her down.

While attempting to restrain her, Security_4 was punched in the face multiple times, and bruised.

While this drama was unfolding, the woman began screaming that she was being choked and couldn't breathe, which was absolutely false. As you can see in her own video, she is being secured with an arm across the top of her chest and hands on her shoulder to prevent pressure on her throat or constriction of her breathing.

Eventually SFPD arrived, took custody of the woman and the male assailant, took statements and continued to clear the scene.

Paramedics arrived, checked our staff member who had been knocked unconscious during the scuffle, and released him.

And even after all of this, when SFPD asked our assaulted and injured staff members if they wanted to press charges, they declined. They just wanted these people gone, and to get back to their jobs and their lives.

After having been released by SFPD, she and the other assailant finally left. Or so we thought.

The club closed at around 2:30 AM. Staff have a little more work to do after the customers leave, but at 3:15 AM, as it came time for them to go home, they discovered that the woman and several of her friends had returned to DNA Lounge and were waiting outside. Our staff left as a group, escorting and driving each other to their respective cars.

Since this incident, and the online drama that the woman's lies have drummed up, lies which were amplified by KRON 4, one of our staff members (who wasn't even involved in any of this) has been harassed on the street. And another was recognized as DNA staff and was physically attacked, and injured, in Oakland.

For those of you who took this woman's claims at face value, we understand why you did. Hopefully it is clear now what really happened here. DNA Lounge has a fantastic staff, who acted appropriately and with remarkable restraint and composure in the face of a violently out-of-control person. They regularly put themselves in harm's way to keep the rest of our customers safe. We are proud of our staff, and yet because of this person's antics and online lies, we still find ourselves fearing for their safety. We hope that those responsible for amplifying these lies and endangering our staff step forward as rapidly to set the record straight. We also hope those of you that contributed to this woman's GoFundMe can get a refund.

Previously, previously.

Tonight KRON 4 ran some incredibly irresponsible and incorrect coverage of the incident on Saturday.

They called what happened a "chokehold", which it was not, as anyone with experience could have told them. The video clearly shows our staff member securing the woman with an arm across the top of her chest and hands on her shoulder to prevent pressure on her throat or constriction of her breathing.

Characterizing it as a chokehold is not only factually incorrect and inflammatory, it directly endangers our staff members who proceeded correctly in restraining an out-of-control, violent assailant -- without endangering her safety -- and while waiting for the arrival of the police.

And again, staff members declined to press charges against her and the other attacker because our desire was to end the immediate incident, not to endanger anyone involved by escalating with further police involvement.

We hope KRON intends to take steps to mitigate the situation that they have now helped to inflame.

Look, it is easy to just assume that there was excessive force, but the truth is that this woman had already assaulted several people and needed to be restrained to prevent her from continuing to harm others. It is our genuine belief that if we had ceased restraining her, she would have immediately reinstigated violence that could have escalated to a situation endangering not just our staff but the crowd of bystanders.

All of our staff are incredibly shaken up by this, and in spite of all the yelling in that video, at no point did anyone disregard the safety of the woman being restrained.

We cannot change what some of you will think. We can only tell you, this is the truth of what happened.

Update: We have surveillance footage.

On the evening of Saturday, October 29, an overly-intoxicated woman was told she could not enter our premises. She repeatedly harassed staff members, screaming at and striking several of them and refusing all attempts at deescalation. After the third time in which she violently struck a staff member and it became apparent that she would not leave, she was restrained while the police were called.

During this time, another male in the crowd also physically assaulted a staff member, who was knocked unconscious. Staff members then restrained this person as well until police and paramedics arrived. Police were successful in dispersing the scene upon arrival. Paramedics treated our unconscious staff member. Staff members who were assaulted declined to press charges, SFPD chose not to arrest the assailants, and all parties left on their own.

You may have seen one of the attackers trying to provoke a social-media pile-on over this, and that's to be expected. But when someone says, "I was attacked because I was smoking a cigarette", ask yourself if there's more to the story and whether another narrative is more likely. Such as:

A patron is told, "Hey, you can't smoke in line", and responds by screaming and swearing at our staff. Because of that behavior, they are then told, "Ok, now you're not coming in, good night." Then, they decide to smack our staff in the face. And so on.

The first part of that story -- "you're acting like an asshole, so you can't come in" -- happens dozens of times a week. Almost all of the time it stops there. It's how we protect our patrons from those who don't know how to behave in public, because how you act outside is also how you're going to act inside. But nobody films that part.

Our staff are trained to de-escalate and disengage. Usually getting a difficult patron outside is all that it takes; after a little while, they calm down and go away. Everybody wins. It is repeatedly drilled into our staff that restraining a patron and calling the police is the last possible option, and must be avoided until all other options have been exhausted. In this case, despite repeated attempts, a patron would not stop physically attacking staff, and outside intervention was deemed necessary.

Nobody is comfortable watching a video of someone being restrained, especially when it involves a woman or black person or in this case both, but we stand by the staff members involved in this incident who did everything they could to ensure the safety of everyone involved, including staff, bystanders and the two people who assaulted them.


For clarity, it was the point at which she punched a female staff member in the face that the woman in question was restrained.

For those of you watching the video that is making the rounds, our staff member can be seen clearly keeping both hands on this woman's shoulder with the intention of minimizing movement. At no point is the arm across her compressing her neck or restricting her airflow. At no point was this woman unresponsive as she is now claiming. Our staff members had every reason to believe that if she was released, she would immediately become violent again, further escalating the incident.

While it is unfortunate that this occurred, and it was an awful experience for everyone involved, we support the decisions our staff had to make during a very difficult situation.

Update 2: Continued.

Update 3: We have surveillance footage.

Saturday night, we had a Bad Bunny-themed Halloween party. We were very much not alone in this. I am told that there were six other Bad Bunny-themed parties in San Francisco this weekend, and four of them were on Saturday.

Despite this, our party sold out the day before; and then we put more tickets on sale; and then it sold out again early in the day. It also sold more than 4× as many advance tickets as any of our other Halloween weekend events.

Reader, I am baffled by this, as I have never heard of Bad Bunny.

I mean, except for the fact that we've done a few parties with this theme, and people keep showing up by the thousands. And no, I'm not going to spoil it by googling him. I'm gonna see how long I can let this ride.

Anyway, what do you think happens when the ticket page changes to say:

SOLD OUT! Extremely limited tickets will be available at the door.

If you guessed "we start getting text messages", you are perceptive and wise. A sampling:

  • "Hi! I was going to buy 2 Bad Bunny tickets wayyyy earlier today but had to wait to get my wallet. I finally got access to it but I see that tickets are sold out online. Is it possible to buy some of the limited at-door tickets? If not, what time do you advise we arrive to have a good chance at the door? Thank you!"

  • "hi. i was trying to purchase the bad bunny ticket but it says sold out. how limited are tickets at the door?"
    "any chance one can be put on hold?"

  • "Hi. Is there any tickets available for the bad bunny event tonight?"

  • "Hi are their still going yo be tickets at the front door?"

  • "Hey there! Do you still have tickets for the show tonight at the door?"

  • "hey i seen the tickets are sold out but what are the chances of getting one more ticket for a friend, we already have a group going in! pls let me know!"

  • "Hello will there be door ticket sales?"
    "For bad bunny"

  • "Hi! My name is Nicole, I'm interested in attending your event tonight, October 29th. I saw online that it is sold out. Are tickets being sold at the door? Is there a line to get in?"

And the best one, the absolute best one, at 12:40 AM on a sold out Saturday night:

  • "Is there a line right now"

27-Oct-2022 (Thu) Wherein a winnar is us!

As foretold by prophecy, you the people have once again declared DNA Lounge to be "Best Nightclub", Death Guild to be "Best Dance Party" and Hubba Hubba Revue to be "Best Burlesque" in the 2022 Best of the Bay.

Also "Best Take-Out" runner-up for DNA Pizza!

Thank you again for your support!

You will be joining us for our seven Halloween parties, yes?

  1. Friday: All Hallow's Eve, the 21st annual DNA Lounge in-house Halloween party, with the city's best costume contest. 21+.

  2. Friday, upstairs: Bass Drip: dubstep, drum and bass, house. 21+.

  3. Saturday: Tarot: The Bad Bunny Halloween Party. 21+.

  4. Saturday, upstairs: Wicked Vibes with The Church of Drum and Bass. 21+.

  5. Sunday: So Stoked, your traditional Halloween kandy rave. All ages.

  6. Sunday, upstairs: Julien-K, Priest & Miss Trezz: live industrial bands. All ages.

  7. Monday: Best Dance Party Death Guild Halloween, which, I am told, is Every Day. 18+.

As Marke B. of 48 Hills says, "As always, DNA Lounge wins Halloween."