Our Pac-Man machine is hurting. Sometimes it does this, and sometimes it does this:
I imagine it just needs some caps replaced and some cracked solders fixed. Are you a person who is competent to fix such things? Are you willing to do so in exchange for drink tickets and admission to shows? If so, I think we have a lovely future together.
Also -- and this is probably a much harder project -- you know the Snarkatron, the big, slow-moving, low-resolution LED sign hanging from the DJ booth that lists our upcoming events, and the DJs at Bootie and whatnot? This thing:
Well, it's hurting too. It's getting kind of hard to read. At first you might think that it's suffering from some burned-out LEDs, but I'm pretty sure that's not the case: what's actually going on is that the letters are corrupted: like, sometimes the letters are not only missing pixels but actually upside down -- but only in some rows. You might see a right-side-up and an upside-down "T" on the screen at the same time.
The sign actually belongs to John, even though it's been hanging here for seven years now, but every time I mention it to him he just mutters something about shift registers and yells "Just throw the god damned thing away already!"
So, do any of you want to take a crack at fixing it?
It's not a particularly useful device, but it's unique and cool looking. And yes, I know I could replace it with a cheap TV, but you know what TVs are not? unique or cool looking.
Now is probably a good time for you to re-read my 26-Apr-2013 blog post about our series of four Prince shows. It's a good story.
I'd sure love to share some music with you right now, but if you know anything about Prince, you know that he didn't make that easy.
This was not the first time Prince had played here, though sadly it was the last. Paste Magazine has put up a pair of streams of Prince's 1993 show at DNA Lounge. Go listen! It sounds great. They say:
Prince and his band would occasionally play unannounced aftershow parties at local nightclubs, often into the wee hours of the night. These aftershows were the hippest place to be and provided Prince and the New Power Generation musicians had the ability to intimately connect with a small audience of hardcore fans. These performances also allowed Prince to experiment with his music, performing new, unreleased and cover material as suited his spontaneous whims. These performances often took on an even wilder abandon than the official concert dates and those lucky enough to attend experienced something not soon forgotten.
The Act 1 Tour hit San Francisco on April 10, 1993 and San Jose the following night. One of the most memorable aftershows occurred after the San Jose date, when Prince and the New Power Generation returned to San Francisco and partied into the wee hours at San Francisco's DNA Lounge. Taking the stage at 3:30am, they proceed to tear it up for another two sets before a highly enthusiastic small club audience. Taped by the Bill Graham Presents crew, who provided sound reinforcement for this late night appearance, this remarkable recording faithfully captures Prince and the New Power Generation in high spirits, laughing and joking their way through two sets jam packed with the undeniably danceable, sex-fueled style of music that made Prince such a phenomenon.
I can't find a torrent of this recording, though. There's a torrent of that same 1993 show here, but it's extremely low quality -- I wouldn't even bother downloading that one. I mention it only so that you can exclude it from your searches.
As you might expect, he was pretty adamant that we not do our usual webcasting of the show. However, a few days afterward, I did discover a bootleg recording that some audience member had made of two of the four DNA Lounge 2013 Prince shows -- and it sounded really good. This bootleg had been at purplehouse2.blogspot.com, but of course that blog is long gone, and the Wayback Machine barely crawled it. Still, if you can find a copy of that, it's a fantastic recording. The CD cover says "The Professor" and "Enhanced by Dabang", if that helps in your searches.
New toy! As a thematic companion to the Pac-Man machine at DNA Lounge, I brought my Vectrex in to Codeword. It sits at the end of the bar now. What's that, you ask? Vectrex is a home video game system from 1982 that has a built-in black-and-white vector monitor, meaning the electron gun traces out shapes diagonally instead of raster-scanning like normal TVs. It is an ancient artifact of rare beauty, and it plays Berserk and Asteroids really well. Along with 70 other games -- I have this multi-cart that has everything ever released for the system.
And 30 seconds after I put it on the bar, it was already being played by anime bunny-girls who were born at least a decade after this thing rolled off the production line. So, mission accomplished I guess!
It is reasonably well secured, but be gentle with it, ok? Try not to get it too sticky.
Actually, there's a pretty nice emulation of it here that you can play online, but it's really just not the same without the weird, flickery glow from that little CRT.
The SF Weekly Best of SF poll is up -- go vote for us, ok?
Relevant categories include: Best Dance Party, Best Live Theatre (Point Break Live or Mortified), Best Live Music Venue, Best Late Nite Bite and Best Pizza.
Codeword still doesn't have enough customers, because we have almost no events. Hooray. We've been working more on trying to get on the "corporate party" circuit, courting the kind of people who organize after-parties and whatnot for Moscone conventions, but it's slow going, and that is not our area of expertise.
So, you know... if your company is looking for a space to rent, or if you think you can throw a dance party that will get a hundred people, do let us know.
I understand that the cool kids have been abandoning Twitter for Instagram, so I finally extended our pseudopodia in that direction. If you are of that persuasion, you can follow us on Instagram at dnalounge, dnapizza and codeword_sf.
Some recent photos:
A while back, some fine, upstanding citizen snapped the arm off of the women's room sign. Thanks, jerk, those signs are expensive. So instead of having the whole sign re-cut, I drew a Furiosa arm and had just that manufactured. The color isn't quite right and the glue is messy, but I guess it gets the idea across.
Some photos are up. Star Girls was really funny, and, like I may have mentioned before, if "Star Wars burlesque" is not something that makes you drop everything and go then we can't be friends.
On the other end of the spectrum, oh look, we had Dirt Nasty. I'm deeply fucking embarrassed that we booked this show, but the contract was signed before I got wind of it, so I couldn't put a stop to it. I just don't have any tolerance for that kind of fratboy "dirtbag" act, "ironic" or not. If you're a "pretend" dirtbag -- you're still a dirtbag.
Just like Death in June: if you've made your career out of "ironically" "pretending" to be a nazi, guess what buttercup, you're a nazi.
But hey, almost twice as many of you showed up for Dirt Nasty as for Star Girls, and I weep for the future.
Well, our second Cyberdelia was a really fun party! With a pretty low turnout. In fact, even the two photographers we booked didn't show up, so we have the merest smattering of pictures from the event. Do you have any? Of course you don't, you didn't come. Well, you missed out, it was a great time. And I'm judging you. So hard. Because you ruined Christmas again.
Well, I pulled together a few photos from the webcast, and there are a couple of short videos I took. One of our costume contest prizes was a copy of the original Tank Girl soundtrack on cassette. Oh yeah.
But I wanted the first prize to be something else. See, the internet is full of horrible and terrifying things, and those things include the dildos of the animal kingdom. Since Tank Girl is a story about a girl who dates a kangaroo, I really wanted to give away a kangaroo dong -- they're about 2 feet long, S-shaped, and run about eighty bucks. But literally every shop that had them for sale -- and there are several -- was out of stock!
How about that.
Here are the ancillary videos I put together for the show: the pre-roll that ran while people were coming in and finding their seats; a video of notional coming attractions; and the video that ran during intermission.
My search history right now is s special gift to our friends at NSA.
Oh, also you'll see in the screen shots in the gallery that I added a karaoke sing-along crawl to the musical number in the movie. Never in my life did I expect that I would be downloading karaoke-making software, let alone in any kind of professional capacity.
(Did you know that the singing madam in Tank Girl is Ann Magnuson, the singer of Bongwater and also the first person that David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve murder in The Hunger? I just thought you should know that.)
I'm not sure if we'll be able to do this party again, though. Turnout was about 1/3rd of what it was last time, and that's not enough to justify giving it a Friday.
Hey, remember when we had that Cyberdelia: 20 Years of Hackers party back in October, and it was epic? Well, we're doing it again this Friday! Like last time, we're dressing up the club as the club from Hackers, including skate ramps, big-screen head-to-head Wipeout XL battles, a costume contest -- but this time instead of starting the evening by watching Hackers, we're watching Tank Girl instead!
Both "90s Cyber" and "Tank Girl" are considered valid in the costume contest, by the way.
Please spam your friends with the Facebook invite, ok? It being January, the time of year when everyone is afraid of fun, ticket sales have been low. (We are almost out of the reserved-seating tickets for the movie, though, so if you want to sit, get on that!)
In other news...
Sunday night, some human shitstain tagged the front of the DNA building with their initials in six foot high letters. I'm not going to show you a picture because that's probably what they want. We had the poor penmanship of this piece of garbage wrapped in skin painted over by the morning, but fuck, like this is what I want to be spending time and money on?
Codeword is still an unmitigated disaster, for all the reasons I whined about last time. It's kind of amazing how much debt you can rack up in just a few months of running a bar that doesn't have any events and that nobody wants to go to. At this point we're deep in triage and damage control mode, trying to prevent the Codeword boat-anchor from capsizing the good ship DNA. We're giving up on the Codeword location of DNA Pizza being 24 hours, at least until the spring. That will complicate things and possibly confuse customers, but -- on the plus side -- there aren't many of those customers. Oh wait that's not actually the plus side. But we just can't afford to subsidize it while waiting for people to discover that we're there.
It's been a constant effort to keep my cool when well-meaning friends can't help but "why don't you just" me, with suggestions that boil down to "throw some parties that people actually want to go to" or "spend a bunch of money on advertising and pray".
Now, if you have any friends who actually want to throw a party that people might actually want to go to, please send them our way. Terms are reasonable. It's a god damned fire sale over here.
An incident report we received this afternoon:
Hey guys, we had a super awesome tweaker come in this afternoon. He screamed at us wishing us a happy new year, said he loved us, grabbed his genitals and walked outside. He lingered outside for a few minutes and then left. I walked outside a few minutes ago and saw the vomit he left us on the ATM.
Welcome to Fragrant SOMA. I'll spare you the photo of the puke-soaked ATM. Here are some prettier photos instead: