14-Dec-2011 (Wed)
Wherein urine sounds better with you, part two.

(Should my tagline for this have been "Music sounds better with urine" instead of "Urine sounds better with you"? I couldn't decide.)

Wow, I can't believe I'm writing about this again, but apparently this story has a lot of people "overly excited" if you know what I mean. They think this story is golden.

You may have heard that one of our recent DJs took a leak on our stage.

Here's some advice to the Bad Decision-Makers out there. When you've done something really stupid and been called on it, you've got a few ways you can go. Most people go with,

    1. "Ha ha, my bad."

It's usually a good call to follow that up with,

    2. "I was drunk," and/or "I'm sorry". (Note: this can be a face-saving gesture even if you weren't drunk and/or aren't sorry.)

Always popular is,

    3. Ignore it and hope it goes away.

It seems that Alan Braxe decided to go with the more daring fourth option,

    4. Deny that anything like that ever happened, or ever would happen, and claim the other person made the whole thing up.

Now, if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that you can accuse me of many things, but "just making shit up" is not one of those things. He peed while DJing at least three times, starting 10 or 15 minutes after his set began. There are multiple witnesses to this, among both our staff and customers. Why would I make this up?

So here's a guy who pisses on my stage, in a totally non-metaphorical way, and then calls me a liar.

This is my house. When I invite someone into my house and they treat it with so little respect -- such as literally treating my stage as a toilet -- I'm going to call them on it.

Many people wouldn't have called them on it, out of fear that that might affect their bottom line. For example, after all this, I think it's safe to say that Mr. Braxe won't choose to perform here in the future. Some people will look at this and say that my having called him on his disgusting antics was a bad decision. Well, if so, that's the kind of bad decision that I tend to make.

Not the kind of bad decision where I go into someone else's house and treat it as one giant urinal, then call them a liar afterward.

This story was reposted by Fact and then copied by Pitchfork. The A. V. Club's take on it is the funniest, though. SF Weekly spoke to Barry (DNA's General Manager) today, and posted a followup.

Hopefully we can stop talking about this now.

We have had performers behave badly before, and we will have performers behave badly again. This one isn't even that high on the list.

12 Responses:

  1. tjic says:

    > We have had performers behave badly before, and we will have performers behave badly again. This one isn't even that high on the list.

    Well, shoot, now I want to read the list.

    ...or at least the top 10.

    • Amy Nelson says:

      Can I second the call for the top 10 list?

    • yukbon says:

      i would be interested in this as well (also: those old posts that are all redacted, will they ever be un-redacted for the public? i ask as a nosy person who loves this type of gossip.)

  2. Alan Cordova says:

    I'll third that notion of a list of the worst, and their crimes. Also yeah, I went on his facebook page and saw a few things about it being a complete lie/rumor. :

  3. Bruce Love says:

    Now that you mention it, do you have any metaphorical pissing acts coming up? This guy was non-metaphorical ... I get it. Can't have that. But the other kind... the metaphorical kind ... Really? I mean, that would be something you don't see every day.

  4. Dec Kelly says:

    The incident with the Chocolate Wrestling must be in the top 5 at least...

  5. Andreas Fuchs says:

    This really urgently needs a "Previously" link: http://www.jwz.org/gruntle/leaky.html

    Also, note this year's Ig Nobel Prize in medicine: "Inhibitory Spillover: Increased Urination Urgency Facilitates Impulse Control in Unrelated Domains" - http://improbable.com/ig/winners/#ig2011

  6. gryazi says:

    Goddamnit, [in sadonecrobestiality news] this is my fault for suggesting "amber nights," isn't it?

  7. Arlo Kirschner says:

    This incident deserves a memorial. I should think printing that image onto a sticker and affixing it to the DJ coffin (somewhere subtle) would be sufficient.

  8. Sparkly Devil says:

    ...but did his set have an R. Kelly song?

  9. Arlo Kirschner says:

    Maybe, there was nothing recognizable as lyrics or actual instruments discernible. I hear that means it was good, as house music goes.

  10. boo radley says:

    Remember how you were complaining that you can't get acts in your club? As right as you are here (and you are right to be pissed off), I bet airing dirty laundry works into people's consideration to not play at DNA Lounge.