8-Apr-2003 (Tue)
Wherein we witness the sad clown stylings of Baconmonkey.


Sad Clown

Well, the Dark Night in Karny Town event we had on sunday was great fun. The performances were hilarious, and most of the audience came in costume! I had a great time. And, you know, like most people, I find clowns extremely creepy. But this time, the club was filled with (and I certainly never expected to hear myself use these words together) clown hotties. I find myself forced to somewhat reconsider my longstanding position on clowns.

Speaking of clowns, Devon, one of our beloved employees, had the night off, and rocked it like only a clown can. I direct you to exhibit A, on your right. Look what he did to my sidewalk! I think we have our next company Christmas card already, and it's only April.

You wouldn't think such a big puddle could come out of such a skinny guy, would you? While this was going on, someone was overheard to say, ``I really wish this was happening on a playground full of kids.''

23 Responses:

  1. haha, clown hotties.

    A while back i stated to my girlfriend-at-the-time that the clown girl from the kids show 'the big comfy couch' was clearly hot underneath the makeup.

    Something like "I am good at seeing through the makeup of hot clowns"

    It became her signature quote. But it's true.

  2. ciphergoth says:

    If someone gave me vodka when I was drunk and asked for water, I would have them killed.

  3. baconmonkey says:

    extra booze storage in shoes.

  4. I am a little confused. Which body liquid is that?
    This kind of reminded me of a Dr. Fun cartoon about a clown titled "Body Liquids on Parade", but I can't find it right away.

    • Hydraulic fluid. The actuated exoskeleton concealed by the gloves and clown clothing gives him the strength of ten monkeys! However, the excessive fluid intake during the night caused catastrophic overpressure, and the emergency flush system activated.

  5. g_na says:

    "clown hotties"?

    Does that have anything to do with Furries?

  6. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAR-DE-HAR-HAR

    *snork*

    you know, i WAS trying to protect him from the humiliation of having that picture taken, but at some point i figured, "why bother"? and stood back and made fun of him with the rest of the crowd.

    also, the staff were yelling at me, "GET OUT OF THE WAY!!"
    that's one devoted crew ya got there, buddy.

    best sad clown EVER.

    • baconmonkey says:

      See, I figure anyone who makes an ass of themself in public is, well, public domain. GPL assiness, as it were. I would have been quite dissapointed if there were no pix taken of me like that. seriously, I'd love to see one of me on all fours tossin my cookies like that. There just aren't enough shitfaced clown pictures out there.

      protecing a drunken friend from making a fool of themself? no point, they probably deserve it - especially if they're dressed like a clown. And they won't remember most of it anyways. But protecting a drunken friend from injury, or getting arrested? That's worth doing. Shame is much easier to recover from than bruises or jail time. And ya know, I figure if someone makes really bad decisions like drinking waaaay too much, and being a burden on their friends, they deserve a little humor at the expsense of their dignity. Call it the drunken dignity tax.

      I was initially kinda worried that there'd be no photos of such a priceless setup, since even when I was stuffed in Sara's car, it only felt like I'd been planted on the sidewalk for about 20 minutes. John says it was a lot longer than that.

      did Jamie give Champagne to you guys? or does that only happen when Mitch gets cozy with the sidewalk?

      • i'm glad you take it so well.
        guess i'm particularly sensitized to social shaming.

        did Jamie give Champagne to you guys? or does that only happen when Mitch gets cozy with the sidewalk?

        now devon, HOW would that be possible, with no lucci there to hump jamie and call him "big daddy"???

        ;>

        • baconmonkey says:

          True. Where was Lucci anyways? he's not dead is he?

          But social shaming, christ, I started down the path of public assiness that night, and I so totally got my comeuppance. Had I not made the decision to inhale a massive ammount of wine n a really short period of time, I would have been fine. But I made that stupid decision, and thus have to face the consequences of that decision. I mean getting that drunk made me a burden on a lot of people, and so I totally deserve what I got. Hell, were that at any other place, there are a lot worse things that could have happened to me. I could have been 86ed, forcibly tossed into the street, shoved in a cab and faced a huge cab fare plus cleanup bill, gotten into a fight, gotten jumped, etc. all in all, going down in infamy like that is nothing compared to the many other fates that I could have met.

          Also, JWZ: "DNA Lounge: Party like a clown" Cafepress T-shirts. 50-50 split. you down?

          • i'm sorry, jess can't come to the phone right now; the image she conjured up of lucci maniacally humping poor jamie seems to have left her trembling with laughter under her desk.
            (sorry jwz)

            lucci, apparently, pulled a devon while taking a nap and passed out till 1 a.m.
            in lieu of a clownfucker lucci: here

            re: shame--i already responded in more detail on your LJ, so go look there.
            but i will sum up with my favorite bit: i am struck with this terrible and debilitating condition called *empathy*, my little drunkenmonkey.

            also: you missed anna's baconcake at DG last night. it was good.

            • rin3y says:

              The concept of "baconcake" frightens and confuses me, but is fascinating at the same time. Pray elaborate.

              --riney

              • baconmonkey says:

                Birthday cake + Bacon.

                A tradition started at my b-day in 2001.

                some versions have had bacon on the cake, other versions have had bacon filling between layers.

                is actually really tasty. Think about most pastries, they are sugar, fat, and a suspension (typically flour).

              • all the pictures of baconcake at the monkey's birthdays have been taken down already, but my grrlie was nice enough to make one for my birthday this year.

                it was GOOD.

            • baconmonkey says:

              See, I picture the lucci humping jwz scenario as playing out with jamie looking very confused for about 10 seconds, then a dozen security apes tossing parts of lucci out both exits.

              what I really wanted to see was jwz wearing the extra rainbow clown wig I brought, but stupid gwydion tossed it in the grope-a-clown box.

              • what I really wanted to see was jwz wearing the extra rainbow clown wig I brought

                oh gee, why am i doubting the success of that scene?
                i think the apes woulda been tossing little bits of MONKEY out of the exits, in that case.
                (ironically enough, little bits of monkey were ALREADY all over the sidewalk that night.)

                and also, stop trying to dress jwz up with your fetish gear; i think he's made it more than clear that he's not into your kink, man. CONSENSUAL PLAY ONLY YO!

            • siphet says:

              And now a word from those of us notified of SCATHING commentary months-after-the-fact to you - our viewing audience!

              word

  7. anti_tim says:

    For whatever reason, that scene reminds me of Cotton Candy Autopsy... ( the art from the first mr.bungle album was also based on it)

    Too bad I missed that night!!