8-Mar-2003 (Sat)

Man, these nightclub-industry trade magazines are hilarious. Here's a typical lead-in to one of the articles: ``From the basic to the bizarre, from wet t-shirt contests to mud wrestling, nightclub and bar promotions have become as necessary blah blah blah.'' It seems like the notion of ``nightclub'' described in these rags are the stereotypical Miami/Vegas variety, and even the most mainstream San Francisco clubs, like Ruby Skye, would be considered ``alternative'' in most other big cities. Which is kind of a horrible thought.

Like fashion magazines, these trade rags exist solely for the ads (selling ID scanners, inventory control systems, etc.) so the articles are pretty vaccuous. But I can't decide whether you're really just not expected to read the articles at all, or whether they're indicative of the fact that most people who run clubs couldn't find their ass with both hands. ``Grab a pen and read on for key steps to sizzling, seasonal success,'' the article emplores, then goes on to list the bulletted paragraphs: plan ahead; determine specifics; set measurable objectives; etc.

We almost got sucked in by one of the ads for a late-night-infomercial-style gadget, though: it was a lime slicer: two pieces of solid plastic with some blades in it: put in a lime, push, done. It looked very handy, and a lot faster/safer than the old fashioned way. No price was listed in the ad, but it looked like it should be around $10, meaning they probably charge $30, right? Nope! $100! And $40 for replacement blades!