Kingfish buys Facebook ads for the Hubba Hubba Revue shows, and every few months, Facebook decides that the ad is porn and pulls it. Then he writes them and says, "What the hell are you talking about??" and they reinstate it. Well, not this time. He tried to run an ad with this image in it:
And they say,
Your ad content violates Facebook Ad Guidelines. Ads are not allowed to promote the sale or use of adult products or services, including toys, videos, publications, live shows or sexual enhancement products. Ads for family planning and contraception are allowed if they follow our targeting requirements.
Before resubmitting your ad, please visit the Help Center to learn more and see examples of ads that meet our guidelines.
If you've read the guidelines in the Help Center and think your ad follows the rules and should have been approved, please let us know.
Gorilla suits: providing quality family planning and contraception for decades.
So then he thought, ok, someone at Facebook has found a way to fap to Gorilla X. He tried several other images with only faces in them, and eventually tried one using a Facebook-provided stock photo.
Every time you submit, you get a different Facebook contractor in whatever Third World, Grim Meathook Future call center they use today, which is always a wonderful crap-shoot. But since it's happening all the time now, that suggests that Facebook has decided that one of these triggers a porn blacklisting:
- The word "Burlesque"
- The words "Hubba Hubba"
- Kingfish's user account
- Or maybe some random-assed other thing?
It's not DNA Lounge in general, because we're running other DNA ads currently without problems, so far.
So we could do a bunch more experiments to try and narrow down precisely what is getting Facebook so hot and bothered that they will not take our money, but come on, what a fantastic waste of time and effort (and one likely to solve nothing but our curiosity, regardless).
- Update: Remember I said that Kingfish tried posting the ad using one of the stock photos from the library that Facebook themselves provide for you to use in ads? It looked like this:
And Facebook wrote back:
Thanks for writing in. I'm here to help.
Your ad was rejected because the image doesn't follow our ad guidelines. Ads and there pages may not use overly sexual images, suggest nudity, show a lot of skin or cleavage, or focus unnecessarily on specific body parts.
It is their own photo! It is a face! Nary a gorilla to be seen.
Facebook is still, to this day, blocking people's accounts for not using their birth names -- I hear about another performer or DJ having their Facebook account locked for using their stage name pretty much daily.
Despite the fact that Facebook promised that they weren't going to do that any more.
Like I said last year:
Hey, remember when Facebook's hateful "real names" policy got a lot of press because they went nuclear on a bunch of drag queens? And then they put out a contentless, fawning press release with a fauxpology in it?
And remember when they then they got a ton of shamefully credulous press from people saying, "Well, that's all better then"?
And remember when people like me said, "You know, maybe you should save your applause for after they've changed either their official policy or their demonstrated behavior, or both, because they haven't", and nobody listened?
We will all be so much better off once Facebook finally craters into irrelevance, just like MySpace and Livejournal did before it. (Unless, you know, whatever replaces it is even worse, which is pretty likely.) But for now, Facebook has made itself sadly, tragically, despicably indispensable as a means of reaching customers.
They dictate morality while selling you out to the highest bidder; they erode your privacy more each day by moving the goal posts and daring you to keep up; and are constantly find a way to add some new bait-and-switch to interpose themselves between you and your friends and customers.
Fuck Facebook. They really are just the worst.
If you work there, I implore you to quit. I'm sure you can find a job working for a company that you don't have to apologize for all the time. You can do it. I believe in you.
This week Barry and Gillian are at the INTERNATIONAL PIZZA EXPO in Vegas, and...
(Ok, yes. There is a pizza convention. Yes. There really is a convention for everything. Yes, there's also a pizza magazine. There are several, actually. Yes, for everything. Ok, got that out of your system? Moving on.)
Anyway, Barry and Gillian are in Vegas for BiMonPizzaCon, and it turns out that Revel, the folks who make our point of sale, have a booth there, and the backdrop of the booth is a life-sized photo of DNA Pizza!
That's so weird. We had no idea they were going to do that.
Hey, come to this show, this Friday! A dozen indie rock bands will indie rock out for you. We're doing two stages with staggered set times, so you'll be able to see them all.
The thing that I like best about this show is that it's not fucking metal. You may have noticed that just about all of the live music we've done here in the last several years has been fucking metal. (And the occasional 30-year-old goth band.) This show is fucking not fucking metal, and so if you're interested in music of the "not fucking metal all the fucking time" variety, you should come out! Because it has been absolutely like pulling teeth to get non-metal bands in here. Help. Help.
Originally this was intended to be an even larger show and involve other venues on the block, maybe even a street closure. But that turned out to be entirely too many cats to herd.
If you missed last week's epic Hubba Hubba Revue: Space Station 1966, you missed the intro film. And that would be a tragedy. So here it is!
Pro tip: much like tuxedos and gorilla suits, you never realize how many opportunities you will have to bust out a space suit until you own one.
And in further Hubba-related activities, this Monday and Tuesday are the Twenty-Second anniversary of Death Guild -- I know, right? -- and we will be bringing you all-goth burlesquery upstairs. This instructional video will help you prepare:
Also, it's time to vote for us in the SF Weekly Best of the Bay poll again. Relevant categories include: Best Live Music Venue, Best Dance Party, Best Live Theatre, and Best Pizza. Heck, why not vote for us for Best Dry Cleaner too?
Passing along this message from CMAC:
SAVE SAN FRANCISCO'S NIGHTLIFE FROM DEVELOPERS!
The lively and vibrant culture, which we all enjoy, wasn't just given to us. It was fought for by previous generations of activists and organizations such as CMAC and the Entertainment Commission. It is time again to step up and tell our city leaders and developers that we are not interested in living in a city comprised solely of condos and that we want our culture protected.
We salute President London Breed, of the Board of Supervisors, who has introduced legislation which will help protect venues from developers. (More on legislation) Let's support Supervisor Breed in her bid to protect our venues:
Signing this petition (click here), is one small way you can contribute. Attending the hearing at City Hall on March 19 at 12 noon is another, yet larger gesture you can make. Getting up and speaking to the Commission is the shit. (check here to check items positioning on agenda)
CMAC strongly urges you to take a few moments out to help protect our beloved venues whose only "infraction" was getting in the way of new development.
See you at the Planning Commission.
And as long as I'm here, I would be remiss were I not to encourage you to come out tonight to Hubba Hubba Revue's SPACE STATION 1966, a show a decade in the making! (Seriously, they've been planning this show forever.) It's going to be epic. Watch the teaser trailer:
The seated tickets sold out a week ago, but there are still standing room and table-service tickets left.
Tonight's pre-Hubba Mortified is fully sold out, except for the tables. So get a table! I'm a little surprised that even on sold out Mortifieds, we rarely sell table service. I mean, it's sold out, clearly the demand is there. It's actually a pretty good deal once you split it six ways and factor in the booze. Maybe you guys can't do math. Maybe you don't have five friends.
At our GDC party on Tuesday, a female member of our crew was re-stocking the paper towels in the men's room when a customer literally waved his penis in her face.
So that's "gamer culture" for you right there.
Meanwhile, here are some recent photos. (No dick pics, I promise.)
These are specially formulated to re-brand laptops. The DNA Lounge logo is a transparent cut-out. If you stick one of these over the glowing Apple logo on your laptop, the DNA logo will light up, and no other light bleeds through: no "Ghost Apple" glowing through, even in complete darkness.
No other sticker will do this! None!
You may recall that I spent literally years trying to find someone who could manufacture these stickers for us. We finally did find someone and there was much rejoicing! But the stickers were too awesome, and so we ran out of them more than a year ago. Unfortunately, when we tried to re-order them, the old sticker vendor said, "Oh, we don't do that kind of thing any more."
So then we spent more than a year trying to find someone else to do the same thing. You'd think the second time around would have been easier, since we could actually send them sample stickers as material samples, as an Existence Proof. But no.
If you were one of the dozens of people who said to me, "That's crazy, you must be doing something wrong, my buddy's sticker shop can make those, easy", you're wrong. Your buddy totally told us that he totally can't make those. (Or, your buddy just didn't respond to our calls or email at all, which is actually really common with sticker vendors.)
Unless your buddy works for Studio Graphics / Independent Studio Services, who are literally -- and I literally mean literally -- the only people on the planet who can do die-cut foil stickers.
Because these stickers are awesome and I want you all to to be wearing them, we're only charging $1 each for these, even though they cost us almost that much to manufacture, even when you don't count the zillions of hours wasted trying to figure out how to do that.
(Confidential to my staff: any time you see someone DJing here who has a giant, glowing Apple ad on stage with them that you can see from the back of the room, please offer to solve that problem for them by turning it into a DNA Lounge ad, gratis.)
This is actually the second music video that this very stripey band has shot in our very stripey room, but the director of that first one just up and disappeared. I guess some people have the sorts of problems with directors that we have with sticker vendors and sign makers.
Best conversations overheard at the Valentine's Day Bootie:
"How old are you?"
"Wow, you look a lot older than that!"
"So... are you saying that to get rid of me... or......"
"I thought you didn't like him?"
"I don't, but I didn't want to be alone on Valentine's Day, so maybe I'll just blow him."
Keepin' it classy.
Best line I've read in a review of one of our shows in a while: "As the stench of fresh roadkill was slowly making it's way through every inch of the venue, the lights dimmed..."