15-Oct-2014 (Wed)
Wherein we're the best!

We won some stuff in SFBG 's Best of the Bay, again, but I can't link to it, because as you may have heard, The Guardian abruptly shut down the other day, taking their web site down at the same time (always a classy move).

I kinda saw that coming, because for only the second time ever they had actually booked their awards party at DNA (you know, the club that has won "best club" in their little poll basically forever), and they cancelled it at the last minute. That's what we call "the writing on the wall."

Anyway, if you find an actual paper copy of it, you'll see that we won:

    Best Overall Party Venue: DNA Lounge
    Best Overall Dance Party: Bootie SF
    Best Drag Show: Trannyshack
    Best Burlesque Show: Hubba Hubba Revue

So, hooray! Congratulations to everyone who makes those events awesome.

Those are the "Reader's Poll" winners, of course. Dr. Kingfish brings the snark:

The editors made sure all the "Best Place To Do A Cutesie-Sounding Thing We Completely Made-Up" and "Best Thing That Is The Name of The Thing We're Saying Is The Best At It" went to other stuff and other places. Also, the reader's poll gave "Best Late Night Eating" to Grub Steak because apparently it's 2002.

Sadly, we are only loved and adored by actual people.

Hey, photos:

Go Deep
Go Deep
Go Deep: T. Williams
Go Deep: Wood Holly
Hubba Hubba: Eighth Anniversary
Trannyshack: Kylie Minogue
Bootie: `90s
Bootie: Black & Blue Ball
Bootie: Oktoberfest
Skeletonwitch
Seshollowaterboyz
Point Break

These posters are for sale! How's your costume coming along?

Yesterday at the AIDS Emergency Fund Benefit I learned about a fetish with which I was previously unfamiliar: "piss puppy". This is where a guy in a piss-stained jock strap pretends to be a non-housebroken puppy and pees everywhere, and his partner hits him with a rolled up newspaper and yells "No!"

I learned about this because the guy tried to pee off the balcony and onto the people below.

Later that night, at Bootie, Arlo told me: "Someone re-inflated the pirate. They picked up a flat pirate off of a nightclub floor and put their mouth on it." I said, "Well it is Folsom Street Fair. It might not be the dirtiest thing they've blown this weekend." *

(Those pirates never last the night, by the way. They buy them from China in lots of a thousand.)

And shortly thereafter, as pictured, all of our toilets exploded. It was backing up everywhere, the floor was a lake, oh the humanity. I was having PTSD flashbacks to Chocolate Syrup Wrestling.

And that was only yesterday. Once more unto the breach...

John finished editing the video of the Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge! It looks amazing! Here's the full video, and some stills:

It's about 45 minutes long. If you want to skip around, here are the sections:

The winners were:

Thanks for everyone who participated! It was great fun.

There's also some video coverage over at reason.com.

It's that time again! Please vote for us in Best of the Bay. Relevant categories this year include:

Best Late-Night Restaurant
Best Pizza
Best Sandwiches
Best Lunch
Best Vegan
Best Overall Bar
Best Bar Staff

Best Performance Space
Best Overall Party Venue
Best House/Techno Club
Best Rock Club
Best After-Hours Club
Best Overall Dance Party (Bootie)
Best Drag Show (Trannyshack)
Best Burlesque Act or Show (Hubba Hubba)
Best Literary Night (Mortified or Odd Salon)

Recent photos:

The Supervillains
Bootside Lands
Bootie 11th Anniversary
The Spiritual Bat
Men Without Hats
Patrick Sweany
Terminator Too
The Last Internationale

Don't forget about the Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge tomorrow!

The DNA Lounge Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge is this Sunday!

We've got our lineup of judges now, so these are the people you have to impress:

We'll have chiptunes music from DJ J.A.E. of 8bitSF, and the whole thing will be officiated by Dr. Kingfish, our official Cup Bearer (did you know that Cup Bearer was a fairly high rank in royal courts? I did not know this.)

But most importantly, check out those amazing award statues pictured above! Gold, silver and copper. Kinda makes the flyer come to life, right? I'm really happy with how those turned out. Devon and I spent about a month making them. It was a lot more work than I expected.

And yes, the robots still work. If you win one of these, you can wind it up and watch it's little legs flail in mid-air, because the award statue for a robot contest should be mechanically active.

I have still not found a replacement for Justin.tv that isn't complete shit.

I was using Streamup.com for the last three weeks, but they have their heads so far up their asses that search parties have returned gaunt and empty-handed. It was incredibly unreliable from the start, then they made some "upgrades" that made it worse, and for the last 3 days their server has refused to let me connect at all. There seem to be other people managing to stream video through their site, though, so I don't know how that is.

They also completely fail at running a service. They ignore 100% of attempts to contact them at their official support email address or on Twitter. Once, I got a glad-handing response from a marketing guy, but after I replied with, "Yes, here are my very specific technical problems"... crickets.

Every other video streaming site I've found either wants to spam you all with interstitial video commercials all the time, or wants me to pay many thousands of dollars a year.

So today I tried using the Youtube live-streaming thing that they rolled out last year, and that works fine, except they run Content-ID on the audio streams -- which means that a mere 30 minutes into the first DJ set, their robots started freaking the fuck out, OMG COPYRIIIIIIIIGHT and shrieking and pointing like Donald Sutherland at the end of Body Snatchers. Because that company is run totally by robots, and there's apparently no mechanism to tell them, "Hey robot, STFU, I pay licensing fees for all of this music and it's totally legal for me to do this."


Caption this screen shot, "But I am authorized to use it, you ass."

It's not quite the same systemic fuckery as Youtube's institutional disregard of any notions of "Fair Use", but it's closely related.

So if you know anyone who works at Streamup who will actually listen to my bug reports, or if you know anybody at Youtube who can turn Content-ID off for my page, please let me know.

In other video news, I made a bunch of Youtube playlists collecting the better live clips of things that have happened at DNA, divided up by year. Check them out on our Youtube page. Also I made a dynamically-updating playlist of Upcoming Events, which will always contain videos by the artists who are playing here in the future. I'm not sure how useful that is, since we have such a wide range of music here that there's guaranteed to be something in that playlist for everybody to hate, but, it's a thing.

We've had a few more late entries into the Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge, happening two weeks from now! If you have a cocktail robot gathering dust in the workshop, there's still time to enter...

Oh!

Yesterday we booked a show with some fresh-faced tyke named Jacob Whitesides, and the agent decided, at like 5pm, to let us know that he was announcing that tickets were going on sale at 8pm. Well, I was busy. And in keeping with my longstanding policy of, "lack of communication or poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part", I got around to posting the show at 10pm.

This, apparently, was A DISASTER to the foul-mouthed, all-caps-typing sprogs on the Twitters. So many people were calling that Barry's phone was useless. I was going to link to the Twitter responses, but apparently Twitter's "advanced search" field is 100% nonfunctional now -- well played, Twitter -- so instead I'll share some of the "best" here:

mendestooturnt: YOUR WEBSITE ISNT LETTING ME GET TICKETS AND ITS NOT LISTED WGGXXK @dnalounge
bizzleaussiesjw: @dnalounge WHY ISNT JACOBS TICKETS WORKING?!?
BieberOfSF: @dnalounge POST JACOBS CONCERT IN SAN FRANCISCO VSDVFHB YOURE KILLING ME GET IT TOGETHER
bizzleaussiesjw: @dnalounge UR WEBSITE IS DOWN FIX IT
SpiritualJacob: @dnalounge FIX YOUR WEBSITE
@dnalounge I WILL SUE
CelianaLamas: @dnalounge WHY ISNT IT WORKING I WANNA SEE @JacobWhitesides PLEASE http://t.co/Z4zoJm6C7j
Morelikemangos: @dnalounge YOUR WEBSITE SUCKS ASS AND I HOPE EVERYONE IN YOUR CLUB GETS AIDS
@dnalounge I HOPE EVERYONE IN YOUR CLUB GETS ALCOHOL POISONING AND DIES
JACOBLOGSIDES: @dnalounge U FUCKING SHITS GET UR ACT TOGETHER PUT THE JACOB TICKETS ON THE WEBSITE U DUMB SHITS
aaronftdeming: @dnalounge DUDE FIX YOUR SITE I NEED THESE JACOB WHITESIDES TICKETS
obeyjacubz: #FIXSFJACOB @dnalounge IM PISSED
SpiritualJacob: @dnalounge FIX YO WEBSITE SO I CAN SEE JACOB

dnalounge: @morelikemangos Please tell me your email address so that I can cancel your order. We don't need your business.

Anyway, once I put it up -- OMG TWO HOURS LATER OMG SO AWFUL -- it sold out in like three minutes. So that's nice. Though I can't say I'm really looking forward to having these sterling examples of today's youth in my house. Were teenagers this creepy when I was a kid? Because I kind of don't think they were. (Also I love how they think "404" means "ur website is down". I think that phone is too much 'puter for you, Zero Cool.)

At the last-minute Bar 9 party on Sunday, they had a pillow fight. In the immortal words of Marcellus Wallace: "In the fifth, your ass goes down." As pictured above.

Then the next day, at Death Guild, some guy asked DJ Sage to play Bela Lugosi's Dead.

Sage declined.

The guy kept nagging him, and then started laying bills on the DJ booth until there was at least $120 there. Sage still refused, so the guy took his money back, lit one of the bills on fire, and tossed it in the corner of the room.

Dear goths, that is not how you make it rain.

I wonder if it was this guy again.

Oh, and last month at a Battle of the Bands, some jackass started burning her name into the parklet surface with a crack torch. Then when security told her to stop, she tried to set him on fire. She went to jail. We had to sand and re-stain the whole thing.

Oh, and last week we had to do the same thing to the bar inside pizza, because some other jackass carved their happy pirate name into that.

Oh, and also last month, we had to replace something like thirty tiles in the men's room, because some other jackass had carved his happy pirate name into each of them.

Oh, and a couple weeks ago, some dumbass in a U-haul trying to make an illegal u-turn in the middle of the street crashed into our parklet with enough force to actually move it. I guess that plastic sheet we put down over the road before we poured the concrete base actually worked! I'm surprised. So the parklet is now about 6" closer to the curb than it used to be on one side, and doesn't drain properly any more. We had twelve guys out there pushing on it and it didn't budge, so we're going to have to use machinery. Hooray. Oh, also it's bent.

Will you people please knock this shit off??

Anyway.

So many photos this time that I feel the need to categorize them!

Live shows:

The March Violets
Jessika Von Rabbit
Alter der Ruine
El Elle

Bootie:

So Deep, Go Stoked:

Hubbashack and whatnot:

Old Time Religion
Summer Camp
Scum and Villainy
Bowie
Michael vs. Janet
Terminator Too
Point Break
Odd Salon
Mortified

You know, if they had given us any notice at all, we could have migrated to a new service without downtime, but no, that's not how it's done these days, so they announced that they were shutting down and then shut down on the same day. Assholes.

I guess I should have guessed this was coming when, a couple months ago, they announced that they were jettisoning their video archives, but when they did that at least they gave a week's notice.

Oh, and they're shutting down because they figured out you could make money by letting people post only videos of video-game speed-runs. Double-you tee fuck?

Anyway, I've migrated our webcasts over to Streamup, which is the only one of the live-video services I've come across that won't spam you all with video ads. Let me know how it works, ok?

I keep meaning to look in to the Youtube live streaming interface, but the last time I looked at it, a year or two ago, it was completely incomprehensible and I couldn't even figure out whether it's possible to do what we need with it. If you have used it, let me know what your experience was like. (E.g., can I pump FMLE into it 24/7 and get an embed?)

I recently acquired some DNA Lounge posters from the 1980s and early 1990s. I collect those, you know. You may have seen them on the wall of my restaurant. This time was a pretty good haul!

You can see the other ancient ones here. (And of course the ones for the shows that happened on my watch start here.)

I am inordinately pleased that the phone number printed on flyers in 1985 is still our phone number. That little bit of continuity makes me happy every time I notice it. No 404s here, Mister. Data integrity's kind of a thing for me.