4-Mar-2015 (Wed)
Wherein we are winnars!

Last night we won the Nitey Award for "Best Large Dance Club". Hooray! Thank you!


The laptop stickers are back in stock!

These are specially formulated to re-brand laptops. The DNA Lounge logo is a transparent cut-out. If you stick one of these over the glowing Apple logo on your laptop, the DNA logo will light up, and no other light bleeds through: no "Ghost Apple" glowing through, even in complete darkness.

No other sticker will do this! None!

You may recall that I spent literally years trying to find someone who could manufacture these stickers for us. We finally did find someone and there was much rejoicing! But the stickers were too awesome, and so we ran out of them more than a year ago. Unfortunately, when we tried to re-order them, the old sticker vendor said, "Oh, we don't do that kind of thing any more."

So then we spent more than a year trying to find someone else to do the same thing. You'd think the second time around would have been easier, since we could actually send them sample stickers as material samples, as an Existence Proof. But no.

If you were one of the dozens of people who said to me, "That's crazy, you must be doing something wrong, my buddy's sticker shop can make those, easy", you're wrong. Your buddy totally told us that he totally can't make those. (Or, your buddy just didn't respond to our calls or email at all, which is actually really common with sticker vendors.)

Unless your buddy works for Studio Graphics / Independent Studio Services, who are literally -- and I literally mean literally -- the only people on the planet who can do die-cut foil stickers.

Because these stickers are awesome and I want you all to to be wearing them, we're only charging $1 each for these, even though they cost us almost that much to manufacture, even when you don't count the zillions of hours wasted trying to figure out how to do that.

(Confidential to my staff: any time you see someone DJing here who has a giant, glowing Apple ad on stage with them that you can see from the back of the room, please offer to solve that problem for them by turning it into a DNA Lounge ad, gratis.)

Happy Fangs shot a music video in the Dazzle Room for their song Raw Nights a couple of weeks ago, and it's awesome!

This is actually the second music video that this very stripey band has shot in our very stripey room, but the director of that first one just up and disappeared. I guess some people have the sorts of problems with directors that we have with sticker vendors and sign makers.

Best conversations overheard at the Valentine's Day Bootie:

"How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."
"Wow, you look a lot older than that!"
"So... are you saying that to get rid of me... or......"

And:

"I thought you didn't like him?"
"I don't, but I didn't want to be alone on Valentine's Day, so maybe I'll just blow him."

Keepin' it classy.

Best line I've read in a review of one of our shows in a while: "As the stench of fresh roadkill was slowly making it's way through every inch of the venue, the lights dimmed..."

And, photos:

Bootie: NYE Do-Over

Bootie: Sacred Silversexual

So Stoked

White Light Monorail + Vicereine


Mayhem + Watain

Bootie: Cookie Dough Benefit

John 5 & The Creatures

Hubba Hubba: St. Valentine's Day Massacre


I just remembered that I hadn't posted this video.

We had been wondering where the water that was pooling under the stage was coming from. Maybe the walk-in fridge? Nope. From inside the men's room wall, every time someone flushed this urinal.

The more you know!

19-Jan-2015 (Mon)
Wherein Above DNA has video.

We have our first video camera in Above DNA now, so you can watch as well as listen to shows up there! Just one camera for now, but we'll add additional views eventually.

We still have only one outbound video stream, though, so we can only do video for one event at a time, so the main room has priority (if we have two events, that's the one you see). But if Main is closed and Above is open, we show that one.

Live audio-only streams and archives are available from both rooms all the time, though (since late 2013.)

And here's our last batch of Christmas-themed galleries, plus the first Hubba of 2015:

Bootie: Hubba Holiday Show
Bootie: Santacon
So Stoked
Bootie: NYE Shit Show
Hubba Hubba: Warrior Women
Seeing Kingfish and Ariyana re-enacting What's Opera, Doc? touched my childhood in a very special way. If you missed it, rumor has it that they'll be doing it again at the Easter show.


18-Dec-2014 (Thu)
Wherein we found your phone.

Why was the DNA Pizza women's toilet backed up?
Because you flushed your iPhone:

AppleCare is totally going to be able to tell that you got it wet.
It was in there like, elbow-deep. (That's what she said.)

Bootie: Wrestling
Author & Punisher
Glass Animals + Royal Blood
Smoke Season
Hubba Hubba: Toys
3 Teeth
Yes, we set up a full-sized wrestling rink at Bootie a few weeks ago. It's been a while since we've done that. We all miss ISW a lot, so I brought some tortillas to throw at U.S. Steele for old time's sake.

By the way, we still have some of those Glass Animals / Royal Blood posters for sale. Just ten measly dollars. Christmas themed and everything!

And registration is now open for the Second Annual Cocktail Robotics Grand Challenge, on Sunday, July 12, 2015. That's quite a ways off, but we wanted to give people a lot more time to prepare their robots this year.

So tell your friends, ok?

Last year was pretty great. Go relive it through the magic of video.

If you haven't gotten your tickets for New Year's Eve yet, you should do that soon. You've already missed the "early bird" price, and it's going to go up again soon. And it's going to sell out. For real.

Thanks to RAINPOCALYPSE FOURTEEN, we're plugging up our floor drains with these tonight, so that when the storm drains overflow our floors won't get covered in jets of projectile poop:

This is only necessary because San Francisco is one of the few cities that doesn't have separate sewers and storm drains. This is, to put it gently, not a solid plan.

Also, the new walls have arrived, the new walls have arrived:

You people are drinking so much beer that we're doubling the size of our walk-in refrigerator. It's getting built some time in the next few weeks. That may result in a week of downtime during which we don't have any draft beer. But after that, so much beer. So much.

I'm trying something new and stupid with our long-suffering video webcast.

As you may recall, the video webcast has been largely down since Justin.tv shut down. I don't have any good replacement options. I looked at dozens of streaming providers, and except for two, they are all either really expensive, or spam the viewers with commercials all the time. The two services that don't are Streamup and Youtube.

So I was using Streamup, and it sucked, because they're just really, really bad at running their service. Literally weeks of unexplained downtime. Even after I tracked down the actual engineers to talk to and gave them easily reproducible test cases, all I got was, "Huh, that's funny."

Then I tried Youtube, and that's a non-starter because as soon as music starts playing, they Content-ID us, shut down the stream, and threaten hellfire damnation and an airstrike if those DJs don't stop playing other peoples' music right now.

So I got out the duct tape...

The video webcast is now streaming via Youtube, but it's streaming there silently -- video only -- so that their robots have nothing to complain about. Also, the page with the video embed on it has a second embed of our audio player, streaming the audio webcast from the DNA site.

Downside: There's no chance that audio and video will ever be in sync.

Upside: It kinda... sorta... works?

It looks like the audio is between 15 and 25 seconds ahead of the video, but your mileage will surely vary.

"There. I fixed it."

Last night we threw out a girl for pissing on the floor. That almost never happens. But there she was, pants down, squatting on the floor in the green room and letting it fly.

    "Why are you throwing me out?"
    "You pissed on my floor!"
    "No I didn't!"
    "I SAW YOU PISSING ON MY FLOOR."
    "But... I had to go."

Then she stood outside and argued about it for an hour. She wanted us to know that "I'm just here for like, the music?" and "My friends are inside", and "I didn't disrespect you." She kept in on that last one for a while.

Usually what happens when we throw a guy out for bladder control issues is that one of his friends puffs up and comes over and says, "Bro, why'd you throw my friend out, bro?" and we say, "Your friend pissed on the floor", and they say, "He... he... um... Ok, you have a good night," and that's the end of it. Not this young lady.

There was also some 22-year-old jock jackass who got thrown out for who-knows-what who wanted to spend a long time telling us how important he was in "the scene" and how we "didn't know who we were messing with" and how he'd "been doing this for a long time." Sam said, "I guarantee you I've been doing this longer." It took the guy a minute to process that, and he retorted, "Yeah cause I'm not like fifty!" Oh snap. You been told.

Last night was our last (this time for sure) Go Derp. I can't say I'm gonna miss it. It was nice having a mid-week dance party, but with the turnout they were getting it was only barely worth opening the doors, and there was so much jock bro bullshit. They're "upgrading" from our 800-capacity 18+ room to Monarch's 100-capacity 21+ room. Monarch is owned by the guy who got us sued over his gross Chocolate Syrup Wrestling event and left us holding the bag, so, you know, I hope they're very happy together.

Some recent photos:

Dead Sara
Abney Park
Velvet Acid Christ
Nekrogoblikon
Intronaut
The Flavr Blue
Bootie
Bootie
Hubba Hubba Revue: Crime
Monday Night Hubba
Go Deep: Shiba San
Go Deep: Christian Martin

How much more Hubba could there be? The answer is none. None more Hubba.

Since the Uptown has closed, Hubba Hubba Revue have moved their weekly Monday night show to Above DNA, starting tonight! This is in addition to their regular monthly show here, which is this Friday.

Monday Night Hubba is over by about 11:45, so I expect to see all of you staggering downstairs to Death Guild afterward. That's what we call "synergy".

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