Broke-Ass Stuart writes on The Bold Italic:
DNA Pizza is a very strange place to get any work done. Loud, angsty music videos flash at you from TV screens, while a staff that looks like members of the Sex Gang Children serves up slices, salads, and sandwiches. Which is to say -- it's actually an awesome place to work from. I go through phases of doing my writing here. Connected to the DNA Lounge, DNA pizza is a 24-hour joint, but it's pretty empty during the day. At night it fills up with people attending whatever weird shit is happening next door. My favorite is to get a slice and people-watch on Monday nights when Death Guild is going on. There are enough goths to make the Roman Empire tremble.
Have you had our Turkinator Judgement Sandwich?
So this happened:
At midnight on Monday, a girl was falling down and vomiting in the parklet. This young lady had previously been discovered in the women's room chugging from a liter bottle of Jack Daniel's. She was also wearing a DNA Lounge t-shirt that was two sizes too big. It won't surprise you to learn that both of these items had, until recently, been behind one of our bars.
The cops asked if we would just drop it if she paid for what she had stolen, so we charged her for what we charge for shots times how many shots are in a bottle. Plus the shirt. And the pin on the shirt. Oh, and also our ATM charged her a service fee on top of that.
"The customer began to remove the t-shirt, at which point I informed her that her boyfriend had purchased it and that it was now her property."
Wear it with pride, klassy lady.
And of course tomorrow is Point Break Live.
"What are you getting?"
"I'm gonna get the Odd Salon logo!"
"What? Not the DNA logo?"
"I'm in for $5, here."
Pretty soon everyone in the room piled on: "Sure, I'm in for $5." "Me too." "Here's $2." And suddenly he had $50 and couldn't say no.
"Business before pleasure," the tattooist said, and did the DNA logo first.
Next Thursday's performance of Terminator Too: Judgement Play is almost sold out! Get your tickets now...
So here's a weird little ritual we've found we need to go through: when we have a show in Above DNA, even if there's nothing going on in the big room, we can't let our staff ever go through the connecting door during load-in and sound-check, even though that would make things like stocking the bars and re-filling the ice wells easier. They have to go down and around.
This is because we've found that we need to basically hide the fact that the big room exists from most bands who are playing up there. That's the 250-capacity room, and if they get a look at the fact that we have an 800-capacity room, they tend to say, "Aw, man, what are you putting us in here for! That's bullshit!" and then they're cranky and hard to deal with all day.
As alegedly-professional performers, they should know better: they should realize that they're only going to get 50 people, and 50 people in the big room would be throwing a hot dog down a hallway. But they don't typically like to think of themselves as bands who only get 50 people, so we can't say to them, "Dude, you can play in that room when you're more popular", or they'd just be even crankier.
So we keep the doors closed and hope they don't notice it's there. So silly.
Hey look, photos:
Last night, someone set a trash can on fire in the men's restroom, then a few minutes later, set a second trash can on fire in the women's restroom.
Thank you, thoughtful Trap & Bass customer. Your antics are hilarious, and I'll bet your mom's real proud of you.
The new pizza boxes are here! The new pizza boxes are here! The new pizza boxes are here!
I am unreasonably excited about this. They're so awesome you guys. I don't even.
It will be a few days before they start going out with deliveries, because we have a stack of plain white boxes to burn through first, but HOLY CRAP BLACK BOXES YOU GUYS! We've only been trying to make this happen since 2010.
You have probably heard that Red Devil Lounge recently closed. That makes me sad, because I saw a lot of great shows there, and it's always a bummer when we lose another live venue. But, I'm happy to report that these fine Red Devil Chairs now live on at DNA Pizza. They're much more comfortable than the chairs we had before.
It's a live music butt legacy or something.
Also: Sadly, our DNA Pizza restaurant manager has decided to move on, so we're looking for a new manager again. Please see our new CraigsList ad and pass it along to anyone you think might be interested!
Here are a few of our upcoming events that you should be excited about:
Odd Salon is the new version of last year's Atlas Obscura lecture series. There's been an organizational change, but it's the same basic format. It's tonight! (Along with / following Tap Turnover in DNA Pizza, part of SF Beer Week.)
I saw Go Chic at SXSW a few years ago, and they're really fun! Electro-pop from Taiwan.
And finally, we've just announced Terminator Too: Judgement Play, from the maniacs behind Point Break Live! It's the same principle: audience members get to audition for the Arnold role. Very effects. Such budget. Many squirt gun. Wow.
Some recent photo galleries:
The Love on Wheels thing was a fundraiser for the SF Bike Coalition. It was really cute! I was also impressed that they managed to load out their set and all of their props and merch on a couple of bike trailers. I guess in hindsight they are morally obliged to do it that way, but it was still impressive. Also it was raining. Check out all those bikes! The other side of the street was completely full of them too.
I think Cip & Okan's Wedding was our fifth wedding here? If my records are right, that brings us to five actual weddings, plus five wedding receptions. It was our first gay wedding, though. And definitely our first gay metal wedding.
Also, mixtape 137 is out.